Be Well

There I was, working with a client in a routine wellness session and I was hit with one of those phrases that make me stop in my tracks and write it down. Why? Because it is so simple, yet at that moment feels so profound. I mean I teach these concepts to my clients every day. We are always working on some variety of self-care, self-discovery, setting boundaries, and healing from our past. I have been doing this for over 8 years, and every now and then, a phrase will hit me like a ton of bricks. This session was one of those times.

See, when we allow our boundaries to be ignored, when we put ourselves last, when we take care of everyone and everything else without also taking care of ourselves, we end up unwell. For some, that looks like burnout. For some, that manifests physically. Sometimes, it's chronic fatigue, a short temper, or turning to food, alcohol, or other substances to get through the day. That will due in the short term, but eventually, it causes distress that must be...

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Reminisce and smile or reflect and cringe?

How often do you reminisce about days gone by? A little walk down memory lane can be enjoyable, so much so that many social media apps even provide an easy way to look at all the things you were doing on this day x years ago. While I love to float on nostalgia and sit in tender moments of happiness and joy, sometimes I look back and think, “yikes! What was I thinking?!” Have you ever been there? 

 

I heard it said once that if you don’t look back and cringe, you’re not growing. I love that mentality. You don’t get to beat yourself up for your choices and don’t have to pretend that you’ve always made good ones. Instead, you look back at your younger self and know that each choice got you here, to the place you are now. Whether by grand design, or cause and effect, without the good, bad, and ugly decisions you have made, you wouldn’t be who you are now. 

 

The end of the year is often a time to reflect and set new...

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Release Your Burdens

I see you out there, thinking you are superwoman. Telling yourself you can do it all. You WILL do it all. "No" is not a word in your vocabulary. Of course, neither is sleep, but hey you'll have those 4 dozen cookies for the school bake sale tomorrow. I can pick you out of the crowd because that used to be me.

We have created a society that prides itself on busyness. We have trapped ourselves in the belief that to be busy is to be successful, and that to be busy is where we find our happiness. That by saying no and honoring our time, we are somehow failing. I used to take it ALL on. Do it all. I was tough enough to handle it. I was able to survive. I was strong... and I was miserable. I had given every ounce of myself to please those around me and told myself it was all from a place of service and love. Now, that's not entirely wrong, but what my young self failed to realize is that by never saying no, I was exhausting all my resources. I wasn't getting enough sleep, eating right, or...

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Beyond Your Comfort Zone

I have traveled to Guatemala twice for mission trips with the God’s Child Project. We built “houses” for multiple families on these trips. By houses, we’re talking 4 walls and a cement floor; something we would consider more like a garden shed here in the States. There is something so eye-opening about providing service in a third-world country. The stark differences between how we live our lives here in America, and how the people of Guatemala live their lives. I was 20 the first time I went and I remember one of the gentlemen from the Project helping us to process our emotions. Someone in my group had talked about feeling guilty for how “comfortably” she lived her life when the people we were building houses for were just grateful for 4 walls and a Quikcrete floor. That gentleman reminded us that our version of comfortable and their version of comfortable was different, but that didn’t mean our families had any more or fewer struggles than...

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I'm sorry... I just had to share

I'm sorry,  I just had to share



Have you ever heard the phrase,  "seen and not heard"? In past generations, it was believed that this should be true of women and even of children. Thankfully,  this belief system is primarily one of the past.  However,  old habits die hard… we still see remnants of that teaching in common behaviors today.  

 

One example of this is when we hear someone say,  "I'm sorry,  I just had to share…" 

 

As in,  "I have something on my heart that I'd like to share,  but I feel bad about drawing attention to myself." 

 

It is likely not conscious, you might not even realize you’re doing it. But I hear and read some semblance of that phrase far too often. 

 

We apologize for taking up space,  for being noticed, and for asking to be heard. We apologize for sharing stories, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. We apologize for something we really are not...

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Don't Forget You Are Worthy

In the hustle of it all, sometimes we forget the things that really matter. 

In a world full of negativity, sometimes we tell ourselves stories that are not true. 

In a society that sets unreal expectations, sometimes we feel inadequate. 

 

Today, I remind you...

Yoare worthy. 

You are a blessing. 

You are strong.  

You are capable.  

You are independent.  

You are valuable.  

You are patient.

You are creative.

You are compassionate.  

You are smart.  

You are empowered.  

You are beautiful. 

You are radiant. 

You are purposeful. 

You are fun. 

You are a badass. 

You are clever. 

You are adaptable. 

You are intellectual. 

You are inspiring. 

You are amazing. 

You are gorgeous. 

You are unstoppable. 

You are fierce. 

You are sensational. 

You are loved.

You deserve to achieve every dream you have. 

...

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Heal First, Grow Later

While we know it is better to be a lighthouse in someone else's storm, than to join in their chaos, what happens when that chaos is yours? What do you do when you’re in the middle of your own storm? 

 

When we feel overwhelmed and lost in the hustle, we often do not take care of ourselves. Our energy is low, we are burnt out, exhausted, and feeling lackluster about life. Some circles tell you this is normal,  this is "adulting", and this is life. Others tell you this is abnormal, you're not handling life well, and you need help. Then there's the group that will encourage you to find yourself-read the books,  buy the journals,  and just get better. 

 

I'm not here to judge or to tell you which of these paths is better than the rest. No, let's look at life a little differently.  

 

There are many different seasons of life.  Some are busy and hectic, others are slow and steady. Some bring stress and hardship,  other...

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Be the Lighthouse

Last week we talked about delegation and how empowering others can help them develop just as much as it can help you relax. Win,  win,  right?! 

 

But what happens when the frustrations you have are from situations you have little control over? A client of mine recently said,  "I just wish people would be nice to each other!" Neither one of us has any control over how others behave,  but their behavior impacts us just the same.  

 

Hearing about murders, abuse, assault, death, hate crime, etc can sure put a damper on your day. I watch the news very sparingly for this reason. As an empath, it's hard to hear all the heavy, heartbreaking stories without doing a lot of work to keep my light shining bright. But that same heartbreak is sometimes in our own homes, our workplaces, or communities. You can just turn off the news but you can't avoid life. So what do you do? 

 

First,  you change your mindset. It is so easy to think...

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Delegate. Empower. Relax.

Something that is often taught in leadership development is the art of delegation.  Learning what tasks to hand to others on your team and empowering them to accomplish those tasks can really change the way your team interacts, and of course,  lightens your load too! 

 

This concept can be the same in your household too. You know better than anyone that you're the captain of that ship. It's up to you to make sure there are clean clothes to wear, grandma gets a birthday card,  and the goldfish has been fed.  Sometimes the weight of it all feels unbearable. Overwhelming. Even frustrating. 

 

What would happen if you began to delegate some of those tasks or responsibilities? Of course,  you're not going to have your toddler paying bills,  but they could probably feed the fish.  Are your children old enough to wash their own clothes? What about being responsible for a meal or a side dish? 

 

Now you're probably thinking...

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Aware is Self-Care

Often we look into self-care when feeling exhausted, burnt out, and overwhelmed. But, what if you looked at it from prevention than from recovery? I’ve always been a supporter of routine maintenance over crisis management. In a perfect world, we would make time for self-care every day. If you’re looking for some quick strategies to support your self-care I have a good list of them HERE. There is one thing that isn’t on that list though. A variety of self-care that often is overlooked. 

 

Awareness. 

 

In particular, being aware of your own limits. Knowing your limits in all facets of life is vital for keeping you grounded, organized, and free from burnout. Let’s use this example from my high school days. My nephew was in the class below me and we were both involved in many of the same activities, track being one of them. He was a distance runner. I was a jumper. So when he wanted to “go for a run” his idea was 8+miles at a...

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