Respond Differently

Growing up there were a couple of sitcoms we watched as a family (back when TV was a little more family-friendly) that often referred to anger management techniques. The two I remember the most were the rubber band on the wrist, to be snapped during moments of anger, and the “close your eyes and count to 10 before responding" rule. I feel like these things were mentioned quite often on TV...but maybe they were just techniques that stood out to me so I remembered them well. Either way, this conversation is more about that choice to respond differently than the first instinct. The decision to snap the rubber band, or count to ten before responding is a conscious choice that affects the outcome of the situation... In a big way. 

In every interaction you partake in, you have the ability to choose how you will respond to the situation at hand. There are SO many human emotions, your options are truly endless. The question becomes, what does this response create in my life? See...

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Stress Relief with Essential Oils

I have always been a proponent of using a multitude of modalities to find true wellness. As you are a multifaceted human being, you need many different techniques to stay well. Just like your nutrition is not balanced without consuming a wide variety of foods, you cannot be well in your body, mind, and soul, without a wide variety of modalities. Essential oils are one of the modalities I turn to often. I love having them in my diffusers (I currently have four diffusers in my home), use them in skin care remedies (like sunburn relief), or for inflammation from an injury.

EO's are also the only "pretty smells" allowed in my home. I do not use anything in my home with the word "fragrance" listed on the ingredient label. Did you know "fragrance" is a blanket term for many different chemicals in products? "Fragrance" is not regulated by the FDA so it becomes a default place to hide chemicals you wouldn't otherwise want in a product you use daily (like BPA, a known contributor to...

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Define Enough

If you're anything like me, you've set many different goals for yourself throughout your life. Some people set them every January, sometimes it is at your annual review at work, and sometimes, it is before starting the next academic year, shoot.... you may even set a goal for your day every morning. These things are all wonderful. It is important to have something to strive for and something to help keep you motivated. SMART goals are a great way to help you accomplish those things in life you want to be a part of your legacy. What happens when you reach that goal though? Do you set another one? Do you check it off your list, never to think of it again? Do you take the time to enjoy your success or immediately move on to something different, something more?

It depends on the goal you’re setting. Let’s use weight loss as an example. Many people set a weight loss goal at some time in their lives. Goal: Lose 20 pounds. So, you work at it. You decrease your caloric...

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How do you use your time?

So often I hear someone tell me, “I don’t have time for that.” Immediately, I know that time is not the problem. Poor time management and maybe a lack of priorities are the problem.

See, we all get the same 24 hours in a day. Most people have a 40-50-hour work week. Most people have homes to clean, groceries to buy, and laundry to do. Among a million other things they’d like to do every day. The issue lies in having to make the decision between doing thing A or thing B. I used to have the same struggle, that is until I got intentional about how I spend my time. Because we ONLY get 24 hours in the day. I can make more money. I can buy more food. I can watch that show later, but I cannot get this moment back. It sounds so cliché, but the truth is time is priceless. No one can make more, no one can stop it, and no one can refund it. When the day came that I finally realized just how precious it is, it became very easy to rearrange my priorities....

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What example are you setting?

The other day, my sweet bonus daughter repeated something that she certainly heard from someone else (apparently “everyone” says it’s true-moms you know how that goes), this was not a thought she had on her own. We know that kids are little sponges and they take in everything from everywhere around them. When they are really young, it's usually that one time you utter a four-letter word that they cling to and you spend the next few weeks praying they don’t repeat it in public. The thing is, that doesn’t end, they continue to latch onto and repeat everything they hear. We are all so influenced by the people around us and the conversations we are surrounded by, no matter your age, but sometimes it hits a little closer to home than others. 

 

In this particular instance, this 8-year-old child told me she was chubby and fat because she couldn’t see her toes when she looked down. Thankfully, she didn’t seem upset about it, just simply...

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Learn From The Past

Are you one of those people that replays a conversation over in your mind for days thinking, “oh I should have said THAT instead!” or “what was I thinking when I uttered those words?” To some degree, we all do this. Self-reflection is a part of how we learn to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Maybe it is in that moment of awareness that you realize you could have turned a situation into a teaching moment instead of yelling at your child. Maybe in that reflection, you realize you weren’t very kind and need to apologize. Maybe, you realize that you didn’t hold your boundaries and there’s still work to do in that part of your life. All of these things are okay, as long as you allow yourself to grow through them. 

 

This type of inner dialogue becomes a hindrance when you dwell on the what-ifs and could have beens, instead of ways to improve the next similar encounter. Dwelling on the negative aspect often leads to feelings...

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Don't Judge Others

It is safe to say we have seen many things over the last couple of years that have tested our patience, our values, and our thoughts about the world around us. Watching your partners, your co-workers, your kids, and your society navigate the pandemic, the economic hardships, and the continuing challenges we are all facing has certainly been an adventure.

It is easy to fall into a space of judgment when evaluating how others are handling these situations. "Well, I wouldn't have done that" or "if you'd do it my way, it would all be perfect." The reality is that you may have done it differently, and your way might be easier for you... but that doesn't mean that you get to judge them for how they chose to live through this challenging phase of life. No different than you don't get to judge a new mom or another couple's relationship. 

Among other things, one of the biggest reasons we don't judge is because we are all here on this earth to learn things. And my goodness,...

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Fresh Start

 As we watch the world wake up in the spring, it brings to mind new beginnings, new life, and a fresh start. January 1 is usually credited for all the “new” ideas, plans, and goals in our life, but who says you can create new goals any time of year? Or that your priorities can’t change mid-year? Shoot, sometimes your priorities change mid-week, or even before noon some days. While that is just the nature of life sometimes, it can also show a lack of commitment or an unfounded goal. 

 

Looking back at the last time you made a goal or a resolution, have you been able to honor it? Are you making choices every day that get you closer to reaching it? If not, why is that? 

 

Maybe the last time you set a goal, your priorities were very focused on physical wellness, but an injury has forced you to change what that looks like for you. Maybe your goal was all about getting your home organized, and then you found out that you were unexpectedly going...

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Who are you in this season?

What season of life are you in? 

 

I just recently celebrated my 10-year anniversary of graduating from nursing school. I obtained my BSN at the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota. When I look back at the last 10 years, or even 14 years if we include my time in school, I am amazed by the different seasons of life that time has brought to me. From insecurity, abusive relationships, and a need to please others to confidence, empowerment, and a desire to live life as my best self every day, a whole lot has changed. Obviously, some of that change is tangible. I’m no longer living on a college kid budget and donating plasma to buy gas or groceries for the week. I’m no longer questioning my basic nursing skills. I’m no longer single without children as I am now married with a beautiful Bonus Daughter and another daughter on the way. 

 

But some of those life stages are less noticeable and less tangible. I no longer question my faith or what...

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Bloom in Season

Have you ever heard the quote about how a flower doesn’t care what the flower next to it looks like, it just blooms anyway? We can all learn something from that, but this isn’t a conversation about knowing your worth and shining brightly in the garden of life. 

 

No, this is about not asking those around you to bloom before they are ready. 

 

One of the hardest parts of your self-development journey is accepting that the people around you might not be on a journey of their own, or at least not in the same place that you are. Once we start down this growth journey, we are ready for everyone to join us right away. You know the difference it makes in your life, and you begin to recognize all the ways those closest to you could live fuller lives, and you want so desperately for everyone to be there with you. 

 

One could liken this moment to when you first fall in love. Everything is good, you walk on clouds, and you want to shout from the...

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