Grow, learn, evolve... these are words I use often. But why on earth does it matter? I mean we all quit growing by the time we’re 20 (growing vertically anyway), learning stops after school is done, and evolving, well that just sounds a bit too “woo-woo” for comfort right? Wrong.
You certainly have grown, learned and evolved since you finished school. Think about it, are you the same person now that you were when you were 18? Or 22? If you are, I’d love to work with you because I guarantee you, you’re unaware of how far you’ve come. If you’re not, then yes, you have grown and evolved. Congratulations! You did it!
See, that is the problem... we stop celebrating growth after a certain age. Shoot, we start celebrating the growth and development of our babies in the womb. There are apps that give you weekly updates about how big your baby is and what has developed at this stage (arms, legs, hearing, thumb-sucking). We then celebrate all the firsts, first time rolling over, first time sleeping through the night, first tooth, first steps, etc etc etc. It doesn’t stop after infancy, we celebrate the first day of school, first dates, and first kisses. We celebrate first jobs, first cars, and graduations. Then our kiddos go out into the real world. Celebrations are a little less linear after that. Maybe we celebrate their college graduation, their first baby, a marriage, or a dream job. And then... it kind of all stops. We stop celebrating. For some, that brings the false impression that once they’ve checked all the boxes of the societal norms, there’s nothing left to achieve or grow towards. We just go through the mundane parts of the day, keeping our heads above water until we get to celebrate our own retirement. There is A LOT of time between your early 20s and retirement though.
You’re starting to understand now. You’re able to visualize the differences in who you are now than who you were 10 years ago. The priorities that have shifted, the opinions that have been formed, and the values that have been developed. The tricky part about all of this is that we all grow at a different pace once we enter adulthood. There is no longer someone pushing you to meet these goals by this time. It’s up to you. It’s up to you to learn your lessons, better yourself, and grow. There is also rarely a celebration when you’ve accomplished a goal or learned a big lesson so sometimes, we don’t even recognize that we have grown and evolved. Reflect on the big life lessons you’ve learned over the last year, 5 years, or 10 years. It’s amazing, isn’t it?
Now, here’s something else that is so important to remember. EVERYONE grows differently. We talk about this a lot with small children, “oh she’ll walk when she’s ready,” “I know all the girls are taller than you son, but in a couple of years you’ll have your growth spurt and you’ll be taller than they are.” We lose sight of this as we enter adulthood. I challenge you to offer some grace to yourself as you grow, but also to those around you. Just because you have learned a particular life lesson doesn’t mean your best friend has. Just because your neighbor ‘has it all figured out’ doesn’t mean you don’t. We are all just in different places on our journey. This rings true for our spouses too. We often grow and learn things at different times. Be patient with one another as you walk your journey. Remember we are each on our own path. The people in our lives have paths that run parallel to ours, but we don’t always walk them at the same pace. Stay in your own lane and support one another.
May your lessons be profound and your growth peaceful, and nothing less than love and light enter your space.
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