Hard Conversations

We are seeing so many shifts in our society right now. Shifts in inclusivity; shifts in how we use technology; shifts in how our kids receive their education; shifts in what social gatherings look like... Many things are shifting. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to change. It’s uncomfortable to see new, to embrace new, to like new. However, it’s sitting in that discomfort that we grow and evolve. It’s how change becomes everlasting, not just in society but in us as individuals as well. 

Throughout history, women have had to fight for equality and the same freedoms or rights that men have. For instance, the right to vote (Wyoming Territory, 1869. USA, 1920), the right to equal pay in the workplace (1963), right to obtain your own bank account without a man’s name on it (the 1960s, credit cards 1974), right to participate in education and school-sponsored extra circulars: Title IX (1972), right to take birth control as an unmarried woman (1972), and the right to serve in combat roles in the military (2013). There have been arguments for women’s rights and equality noted from the time our country was born in 1776. Throughout history the one thing that remains true is strong women speak up. Strong women don’t shy away from the uncomfortable. Strong women don’t deny the challenge and instead own it. That becomes the everlasting change in our society. 

As mothers, even if we are not actively involved in any kind of ‘movement’ we do have the ability to raise more strong women. Strong women that can continue to make waves and create everlasting change. Strength comes from knowledge and wisdom. However, it also comes from being comfortable in conflict and comfortable in conversations that some may consider being only “private” topics. “Private topics” like suicide, depression, anxiety, breastfeeding, periods, pregnancy, infertility, and sexual health. Why are these things private? Periods are as normal as facial hair, yet we don’t ask our boys/men to hide their shaving products. Sexual health is just as important as cardiac health, yet you don’t hear it discussed near as openly. Infertility and miscarriage are other topics that often are only discussed behind closed doors. Did you know that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage? Did you know that 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility? Again something that makes many people uncomfortable.  Did you know that it is estimated that 1 in 7 children who are missing or exploited are thought to be involved in sex trafficking? That’s likely 3 children in your child’s class… hard stats to swallow and even harder to talk about. 

What does all of this have to do with being strong women and teaching our daughters to be the same? There is strength in numbers. There is power in knowledge. There is peace in the community. Our daughters won’t become more comfortable with these conversations unless we become comfortable with them. They won’t know how to talk openly unless we do. They won’t know how to support one another unless we show them. They can’t make waves unless we show them how to have the courage to do so. 

So today, I challenge you. Have the hard conversation. Ask the hard question. Support the other women in your life. Be the strong woman our daughters need. 

If you'd like a starting place, these conversation starters are for you!

If you don’t feel you have the confidence to have some of these hard talks with your daughter, but still want her to be aware, send me an email. If you are ready to find your own confidence, start with this 5 step morning routine! 

If you do struggle with infertility, please check out a fellow strong woman in my life @everlastinghope. 

https://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book-excerpts/health-article/a-brief-history-of-birth-control/ 

https://www.history.com/topics/womens-history/womens-history-us-timeline

https://www.oneadvisorypartners.com/blog/the-history-of-women-and-money-in-the-united-states-in-honor-of-womens-history-month

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/miscarriage-statistics 

https://cofertility.com/fertility-statistics-2020/
https://www.unicefusa.org/child-trafficking-us#:~:text=National%20Human%20Trafficking%20Hotline%20statistics,victims%20of%20child%20sex%20trafficking