Keeping up with the Jones's

Mar 11, 2020
Purely You Healing
Keeping up with the Jones's
5:06
 

Theodore Roosevelt said, “comparison is the thief of all joy.” Isn’t that the truth. It’s been a problem in our society forever. Even when life was a little more slow-paced before the internet and social media. Now, we not only “have to keep up with the Jones’s” in our community, but with the “Jones’s” in your Mom’s, your best friend’s, your college roommate’s, and that Influencer on Instagram too. We have so much access to other people’s lives now, but often we forget that what we see is only just a portion of their life. I was listening to a podcast the other day and the discussion was about this exact thing. One question stuck out to me though. “Do you want to do what it takes to have her life?” If you look at the 40-year-old mom who has a six-pack and you envy her, you have to also ask yourself if you are willing to put in the work to make that happen. Are you willing to give up one hour of sleep, or your favorite TV show after the kids go to bed, to work out? Are you willing to eat a clean diet? Are you willing to start, right where you are, and work at it until you are just like that Mom? No? None of that sounds like fun to you? Then stop wishing to be her. We are all given the same 24 hours in every day. We are all given the same opportunities in this first-world country. The resources are there for you to accomplish anything you want to; if you are willing to sacrifice the choices that are not helping you reach those goals. I’m not here to shame you, I’m not here to tell you that you can be better than you are now. I’m here to tell you, that if you want it, you can do it. You just have to decide it’s worth the work and effort and time to make it happen. You are allowed that choice. You are allowed to say, this is how I want to show up for the world. And if your choice isn’t the same as someone else’s, THAT IS OKAY. Support that person in their uniqueness and celebrate yours. That is what makes the world go ‘round.
Here’s another way to look at it:
Mom A: Is a Stay-At-Home-Mom who does ALL of the things with her kids. She is the classroom Mom. she shows up for every field trip. She brings homemade snacks for everyone after soccer practice. She hosts the best birthday parties and volunteers with the church, the local 4H club, and the Rotary. Her kids are loved and supported in every way.
Mom B: Is a CEO in a Fortune 500 company. She has a nanny to help with her kids. She shows her children that women can be successful entrepreneurs. She offers donations to the school as she cannot be a part of any of the classroom functions. When it’s her turn to bring snacks for soccer, she buys donuts in the Krispy Kreme drive-through on the way to the afternoon game. She serves on the Hospital Board and offers guest lectures at the local college in business administration. Her kids are loved and supported in every way.
Which mom is a better parent? Neither. Not one is better than the other. These are two very different lifestyles and two very different realities. Who are you to set yourself up against Mom A, when you work part-time? Who are you to set yourself up against Mom B when you are raising your babies and finishing school? There are so many factors at play in parenting and living our lives.
Then there’s always the FACT that people only show their best on social media. Did you know that there are people who pay professionals to come in and take photos of them in their home, “acting natural” to post on social media? Even if you don’t hire a professional, how many of us take two, or three or ten pictures before finding the best one for our post. I’m guilty of that, scroll through my Instagram and know that not one of those photos is the first take. I’d guarantee you very few of the shots we see shared are the first take. We see people’s highlight reels. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know what they don’t show you. You don’t see the reality, you see a snippet.
I encourage you to support one another instead of shaming one another. I encourage you to be a light of empowerment, not a voice of judgment. I encourage you to share your story and allow your unique self to shine. And I encourage you to trust the path you’re on. If/When the day comes you decide you want to take a detour, then I encourage you to reach out to those that inspire you and get the nitty-gritty details. If/When someone reaches out to you for those details, be real, be authentic, and foster a community, instead of competition. We don’t have to keep up with one another, we are here to hold one another up. Who in the heck are the “Jones’s” anyway?

I wish you a shame-free life lady, and nothing less than love and light.

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