Do you ever feel like the people you're around just flat out suck the life out of you? After even just a few minutes around that person, you are exhausted, worn out, and maybe even in a bad mood?
Maybe you notice it more when you spend time around someone who is crabby, and it makes you crabby. They say misery loves company and it sure seems to pull you in.
Both of these instances are examples of people changing your vibration. They either take your power and steal your light, leaving your cup empty OR you lower your vibration to match theirs. Neither of which feels very good. It is REALLY a bummer when you were in a great mood that morning, or you want to enjoy your kid's soccer game but that Mom is just taking all the fun out of it for you. Listen, someone else's rain doesn't have to fall on your parade. Now, I know you don't go out asking for such things to happen, but they seem to anyway. So HOW ON EARTH do you prevent this?!
First and foremost, you must recognize when it is happening. You must be able to notice who those people are or the situations that seem to have the greatest toll on you. Be mindful of how you feel coming into contact with each person in your life, and how you feel afterward. This doesn't have to be physical contact, it can be a phone or virtual conversation too. Once you start to pay attention, it becomes pretty clear who the energy vampires are in your life. These people can be anyone; your spouse, parents, in-laws, children, friends, co-workers, neighbors, siblings, or even the gal at the check-out line. Some people are unaware that they do this to others and don't even realize they affect you in this way. Other people have recognized that they "feel better" after spending time with you. Like a bad habit, they return when they get to feeling blue looking for a pick-me-up, and you deliver. It is a vicious cycle that serves no one in the dynamic. You are left feeling unnecessarily drained and they are feeling good, but it's only a temporary high that doesn't last for them either.
Some ways you might recognize these shifts include: feeling exhausted, moody, angry, or crabby without knowing why; being short-tempered with your family/friends shortly after this interaction; needing a nap or caffeine to stay going; food cravings; losing all motivation or desire to function for the day or not having any desire to participate in something that once did. Can you think of a few times this has happened to you? Can you identify the people/situations in your life that are draining you?
When these people are family members or co-workers, we often can't fix this problem by avoiding them. Christmas dinner will still come around and that paycheck is vital to keeping the roof over your head so it's not like joining a different gym is going to fix the problem. Now what?
There are a few different ways you can protect your space. It is hard, especially after living a lifetime of allowing others into it, but it is manageable with some practice. Please be patient with yourself as you learn how to do this, it is a new skill and it takes time to perfect!
My favorite way to protect my space around those who bring me down is to call on Archangel (Saint, if you are Catholic) Michael. He is our Angel/Saint of protection so this is kind of his gig. There are many different prayers, intentions, and methods for calling him into your space, but I tend to use a fairly simple one, "Saint Michael, I need your help. Please protect me from anything that does not serve me. May nothing less than the best enter my space." Usually, these words are coupled with me envisioning myself surrounded by a bubble of healing light-either blue as is Michael's color, or white as is pure Divine energy. I know that this bubble will allow good energies into my space and allow my cup to be filled, however, nothing less than the highest vibrations are allowed in. Like a sieve for sifting sand, the bubble separates the vibrations we do want vs the ones we don't.
The second practice I suggest for keeping people from using you as their power source is to imagine a 2-mirror between you. I always think of the interrogation rooms on TV shows. The Energy Vampire in your life would be in the interrogation room, you would be observing from the other room. This allows you to see and hear them, but any time they attempt to get to your space, they are left only staring at themselves. I will often use this mirror when I find that I need a "hard stop" between myself and the other person. I also find that this tactic helps people to be more aware of their own selves, sometimes we all need a good long look in the mirror ya know.
There are also some crystals you can carry around or wear in your jewelry to help protect your space. There are WAY too many to list here and each stone has a specific purpose but I have a few favorites that I'll share with you anyway. I have loved rocks since I was a child (I even remember taking rocks to show and tell multiple times in grade school) and as I have grown I have a whole new appreciation for them. The ones I love to throw in my pocket or even wear in my jewelry are Amethyst, Smoky Quartz, or Hematite. Amethyst is an all-around good stone, you can never go wrong with it, and it's fairly accessible without spending a fortune. Plus, it's purple so there is that. Smoky Quartz is a grey color and is good at absorbing and neutralizing negative energies. Hematite is a good grounding stone and almost looks like chrome. It is pretty intense for some people so if you're not drawn to it, it doesn't need to be in your pocket for a whole day. These three are great companions as you work through learning how to keep your space protected!
This is a skill that will take time to learn. Sometimes you'll have to ask for your bubble to be placed multiple times a day or even multiple times in a conversation! That is okay. The more you recognize when it is needed, the better you get at keeping your space clear! As always friends, may nothing less than love and light enter your space.
If someone has gotten under your skin and you're needing to reset a bit, try this white light meditation!
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