New Year's Resolutions?

Mar 18, 2020
Purely You Healing
New Year's Resolutions?

We’re three months into the year now and I’m willing to bet most of you have lost the passion for your New Year’s Resolution. You set a goal on January 1, 2020, to do something different. A majority of people set resolutions around their health; to either eat better, move more, get more sleep, quit smoking, etc. These are all great resolutions and great intentions to set for the year. The reality is that change is hard and old habits don’t go down easy. You must offer yourself some grace in this process, you are human and it’s okay to miss a day at the gym. It’s okay to sleep in one morning after a particularly long week. It’s okay to eat that piece of birthday cake with your grandpa. The important part is to start again the next day.

Here’s how I see it. A resolution is like a brand new relationship with someone. You make plans to go on a date and if it goes well you arrange a second date. It’s a new relationship, you don’t have a “title” yet and you’re not totally sure that you see a future with this person. You arrange the second date because you are interested enough to see where it goes as ideally, you’d like to get married. Resolutions are the same. You have this idea; you want to make it a forever thing in your life. You want to be the kind of person that wakes up at 5:00 am every day to be productive before the world wakes. To get your work out in before work, to do your bible study, to take that class, etc. The idea sounds great. The work is a little different. Just like that budding relationship, the idea of forever sounds great, but maybe this person isn’t someone you want to work for… so it fizzles out. You never arrange the 3rd or 4th date. You let that one piece of cake turn into a candy bar tomorrow and 44-ounce soda pop the next day. For most Americans, this is where you’re at. Still attracted to the idea, but not in the mindset of making it work.

So, you set a goal. You say, starting on Monday I will give up sweets again. Starting on the first of the month, I will set my alarm for 5 am to go to the gym. After this pack of cigarettes is gone, I will quit again. A goal is like an official relationship. You have a title. You have introduced this person to your friends and family. You have changed your relationship status on social media. You are a thing. Goals are something with a plan, steps to accomplish and a projected date of completion. Just like this relationship though, you can still get out of it. You have a big fight and the relationship ends; the dreams, plans, and future being left behind. Your goal is the same. Something disrupts the plan and all of a sudden it gets left behind; other things get in the way. The progress towards the date of completion halts.

What happens when the first date, turns into a relationship, and that relationship turns into a marriage? That is called a commitment. Now, you have vowed to stay in this relationship, even on the days you don’t like your person. You know the saying, “I love you, but I don’t like you right now.” You no longer have the choice to walk away. You have to work it out. You have to spend time with them. You have to continue to build this relationship to be better, stronger, happier. When you’re ready to commit to the changes you want to make in your life, the whole mindset shifts. You no longer get to halt your progress. You don’t get to throw in the towel when it gets hard. You don’t get to “fall off the wagon” and never get back on. Sure, as with every relationship there is some waxing and waning of closeness, but you always come back to it. You always recommit to loving one another. If you’re looking to make a change in your life, sit with it until you are ready to commit. Until you love the outcome enough to not give up on it. It’s no longer an idea, a dream, or a wish. This is something you have decided will happen. You have committed to it. Just like you committed to finishing college; just like you committed to showing up for your job every day; just like you committed to paying your bills every month. You don’t HAVE to do any of these things. You may not be where you are now without your college education, you may not keep your job for very long if you aren’t committed to showing up, you may not get to keep your house if you don’t pay your mortgage. But you do these things, day in and day out no matter how hard it is. Why? Because you committed. You decided that having a roof over your head was more important to you than a brand-new car. You decided that electricity was one of the finer things in life and it was worth not eating out for. You decided that getting to move up the workplace ladder with your education was worth the lost time with your friends and family for class. The outcome was worth committing to.

So, you tell me, did you commit to making changes on January 1, 2020? Are the changes you thought of, something you really want to commit your forever to? Share your commitments with us! I can’t wait to hear all about it.

Love and light to you always!


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