How do you love yourself?

Have you ever had a young child run across a room to hug you? Or maybe gifted a dandelion bouquet? Possibly you’ve received an extra wet kiss from a baby, or a half-eaten cookie as a gesture of sharing. And you have likely experienced a moment when a child just wanted your undivided attention. Sometimes these experiences are endearing. Sometimes they make you giggle internally and sometimes your very exhausted self is a little worn out by the behavior. But each of those behaviors is that child's way of loving you. Remember that each child is just a small adult. They create their communication styles early. The child who offers you a dandelion bouquet communicates their love through the language of gifts. The child who offers you wet kisses is communicating through physical touch and the one asking for your undivided attention is asking for quality time. 

This concept is likely over the head of these children, but you will grasp it easily. To recap the five love languages, as described by Gary Chapman, there is quality time, physical touch, gifting, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Most of us have a primary language and a secondary language as well. When you identify which of the five are your primary and secondary languages you will realize that you often show love and appreciation in those ways the most often. 

Your partner, children, and friends will likely show their love through their primary language as well. If your primary language is not their primary language you both may feel less than loved and appreciated, despite each party expressing their affection in their own way. Once you’re able to see each person’s primary, you’ll recognize how often they “love” you. 

The real question is, how often do you love yourself? 

If your primary love language is words of affirmation, but your self-talk is negative, you’re not loving yourself well. 

If your primary love language is quality time, but you never allow yourself to sit in stillness, or spend time in a hobby you enjoy, you’re not loving yourself well. 

If your primary love language is physical touch, but you are never present while washing your body, putting lotion on, or you never give yourself a foot rub, you’re not loving yourself well. 

If your primary love language is acts of service, but you don’t do anything to serve your heart like decluttering your space or donating to a cause you’re passionate about, you’re not loving yourself well. 

If your primary love language is gifting, but you never gift yourself anything because it is frivolous, you are not loving yourself well. 

You are the only one who lives with yourself every second of every day. You never get a break from yourself. You never get to “get away” from you. Showing yourself love is essential to finding peace. 

Start showing that love today and book a session with Purely You Healing.