Don't Judge Others

It is safe to say we have seen many things over the last couple of years that have tested our patience, our values, and our thoughts about the world around us. Watching your partners, your co-workers, your kids, and your society navigate the pandemic, the economic hardships, and the continuing challenges we are all facing has certainly been an adventure.

It is easy to fall into a space of judgment when evaluating how others are handling these situations. "Well, I wouldn't have done that" or "if you'd do it my way, it would all be perfect." The reality is that you may have done it differently, and your way might be easier for you... but that doesn't mean that you get to judge them for how they chose to live through this challenging phase of life. No different than you don't get to judge a new mom or another couple's relationship. 

Among other things, one of the biggest reasons we don't judge is because we are all here on this earth to learn things. And my goodness, we have certainly been given the opportunity to learn a lot of lessons over the last couple of years! Everyone’s lesson will be different though. As in most other occasions in our lives, those around us may not be in the same place as we are. They may take a long way around on their way to the answers. They may not go through this life the way you would. That is okay. It is okay because you’re not living their life. You are living your own life. You have muttered to your kids at least once in their life, “you just worry about yourself, okay.” Yes, Mom-now you do the same. You just do you, okay? You become more compassionate. You become more grounded. More present. More balanced. Allow yourself to become stronger from the trials you face instead of letting them do you in. And you watch others do whatever they are going to do without judgment. There’s more than one way to skin a cat, as the saying goes.  

I know it is difficult to watch the ones we love make choices that we may not “approve of.” You may even think to yourself, “if they would just do x,y,z, they sure would be better off.” But it is not your choice to make. It is not your life to live. They are the ones who live with their decisions, with their behaviors, with the outcomes of their choices. Step back and give them all the space to learn and grow, the way that you need space to learn and grow yourself.

Just like teaching your kids how to ride their bikes. You know when you let go of that seat they are probably going to tip over. And you let them do it anyway because that is how they learn. You must let go of other’s decisions and let them either stay the course, or tip over. Either way, you will support them, cheering them on, or cleaning up those skinned knees. Your job is to support others on their journey. You can’t make the choices for them, you don’t get to judge them, and you don’t get to criticize. You choose to be more compassionate. You hold space and you love.  

If you're having a hard time letting go of others' choices and even feeling burdened by them, let's talk about a strategy to overcome that feeling. Book a call here so we can talk all about it.