Mom-guilt is such a strange emotion.
It is all-encompassing and sometimes feels impossible to avoid.
Work too much- mom guilt
Work too little - mom guilt
Clean the house- mom guilt
Don't clean the house - mom guilt
Feed your kids take-out- mom guilt
Don't feed your kids take-out- mom guilt
You add in the ever-changing recommendations and research in raising children and there's a whole other myriad of guilt-inducing challenges (cry it out or don't, vaccinate right away or delay, allow devices or don't, attachment parenting or free-range parenting, etc etc etc).
We have these ideals and standards in our minds about what a perfect mom is and allow ourselves to feel guilty when we are less than that imaginary figure in our minds. It's not easy mama. I hear you. And while there's so much to unpack around those standards and how you feel, there is a slight change you can make in your home that can help you feel good...
Are you one of those people that replays a conversation over in your mind for days thinking, “oh I should have said THAT instead!” or “what was I thinking when I uttered those words?” To some degree, we all do this. Self-reflection is a part of how we learn to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Maybe it is in that moment of awareness that you realize you could have turned a situation into a teaching moment instead of yelling at your child. Maybe in that reflection, you realize you weren’t very kind and need to apologize. Maybe, you realize that you didn’t hold your boundaries and there’s still work to do in that part of your life. All of these things are okay, as long as you allow yourself to grow through them.
This type of inner dialogue becomes a hindrance when you dwell on the what-ifs and could have beens, instead of ways to improve the next similar encounter. Dwelling on the negative aspect often leads to feelings...
Have you ever heard the quote about how a flower doesn’t care what the flower next to it looks like, it just blooms anyway? We can all learn something from that, but this isn’t a conversation about knowing your worth and shining brightly in the garden of life.
No, this is about not asking those around you to bloom before they are ready.
One of the hardest parts of your self-development journey is accepting that the people around you might not be on a journey of their own, or at least not in the same place that you are. Once we start down this growth journey, we are ready for everyone to join us right away. You know the difference it makes in your life, and you begin to recognize all the ways those closest to you could live fuller lives, and you want so desperately for everyone to be there with you.
One could liken this moment to when you first fall in love. Everything is good, you walk on clouds, and you want to shout from the...
You know that feeling when you’ve eaten more than you should? The one where you have to unbutton your pants, and couldn’t possibly have one more bite, even though the food was delicious? One could say, you were at capacity at that moment. We’ve all been there and in reality, we are all ready for another meal within the next 12 hours. Just as long as it’s not right that second. Because that feeling of fullness is such a physical symptom, it is easy to recognize it and honor it. You know darn good and well if you ate another piece of pie you’d likely be miserable, so you take a break from food and don’t think twice about it.
Why don’t we honor our need for a break in life’s obligations as well? When your plate is already full, how often do you take on one more thing? One more activity, responsibility, or obligation? Even though your schedule is stuffed and you’ll be uncomfortable taking on one more thing?
According to an article posted in Forbes in 2021, at least 52% of the working population is feeling the strain of burnout. Yikes! That means if you’re not feeling it, the person sitting next to you likely is. The worst part is they might not even be aware of it. You can’t fix it if you don’t even realize that it’s happening.
So often I hear clients tell me all the ways they are struggling in their day-to-day and then follow that up with something like, “but this is ‘adulting,’ right?” As in, I shouldn’t complain because this is just what being an adult is. They always told us being a grown-up was no fun.
Here’s the reality. While being an adult does come with its own set of responsibilities and stressors that our children know nothing about, it doesn’t have to feel this heavy and exhausting! Some days are hard, yes. Some situations require a lot from you, yes. But if every day feels like a...