Respond Differently

Growing up there were a couple of sitcoms we watched as a family (back when TV was a little more family-friendly) that often referred to anger management techniques. The two I remember the most were the rubber band on the wrist, to be snapped during moments of anger, and the “close your eyes and count to 10 before responding" rule. I feel like these things were mentioned quite often on TV...but maybe they were just techniques that stood out to me so I remembered them well. Either way, this conversation is more about that choice to respond differently than the first instinct. The decision to snap the rubber band, or count to ten before responding is a conscious choice that affects the outcome of the situation... In a big way. 

In every interaction you partake in, you have the ability to choose how you will respond to the situation at hand. There are SO many human emotions, your options are truly endless. The question becomes, what does this response create in my life? See...

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How is your screen time serving you?

There are a million studies out there talking about screen time. How much is too much? When should you turn your devices off? What about that blue light business? Is it different for adults and children? I’m not going to dive into any of that. Instead of hashing out how long, when, where, and who, let’s look into what you view. When I was young, my friends and I had a CD that we called the “Depression CD.” We’d listen to it when we were having an off day, after a break-up, or just whenever we were a little low. It was 13 country songs, from the country era of slow broken-hearted ballads. Nothing upbeat. Nothing empowering. Nothing that would help turn your mood around. Instead, it was about being engulfed by that sadness, by that slow, depressive movement. We used these songs when we were feeling low because they matched our vibration (learn more about your vibration here). The energy was the same. It felt comfortable to listen...

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Define Enough

If you're anything like me, you've set many different goals for yourself throughout your life. Some people set them every January, sometimes it is at your annual review at work, and sometimes, it is before starting the next academic year, shoot.... you may even set a goal for your day every morning. These things are all wonderful. It is important to have something to strive for and something to help keep you motivated. SMART goals are a great way to help you accomplish those things in life you want to be a part of your legacy. What happens when you reach that goal though? Do you set another one? Do you check it off your list, never to think of it again? Do you take the time to enjoy your success or immediately move on to something different, something more?

It depends on the goal you’re setting. Let’s use weight loss as an example. Many people set a weight loss goal at some time in their lives. Goal: Lose 20 pounds. So, you work at it. You decrease your caloric...

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Fresh Start

 As we watch the world wake up in the spring, it brings to mind new beginnings, new life, and a fresh start. January 1 is usually credited for all the “new” ideas, plans, and goals in our life, but who says you can create new goals any time of year? Or that your priorities can’t change mid-year? Shoot, sometimes your priorities change mid-week, or even before noon some days. While that is just the nature of life sometimes, it can also show a lack of commitment or an unfounded goal. 

 

Looking back at the last time you made a goal or a resolution, have you been able to honor it? Are you making choices every day that get you closer to reaching it? If not, why is that? 

 

Maybe the last time you set a goal, your priorities were very focused on physical wellness, but an injury has forced you to change what that looks like for you. Maybe your goal was all about getting your home organized, and then you found out that you were unexpectedly going...

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Who are you in this season?

What season of life are you in? 

 

I just recently celebrated my 10-year anniversary of graduating from nursing school. I obtained my BSN at the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota. When I look back at the last 10 years, or even 14 years if we include my time in school, I am amazed by the different seasons of life that time has brought to me. From insecurity, abusive relationships, and a need to please others to confidence, empowerment, and a desire to live life as my best self every day, a whole lot has changed. Obviously, some of that change is tangible. I’m no longer living on a college kid budget and donating plasma to buy gas or groceries for the week. I’m no longer questioning my basic nursing skills. I’m no longer single without children as I am now married with a beautiful Bonus Daughter and another daughter on the way. 

 

But some of those life stages are less noticeable and less tangible. I no longer question my faith or what...

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Bloom in Season

Have you ever heard the quote about how a flower doesn’t care what the flower next to it looks like, it just blooms anyway? We can all learn something from that, but this isn’t a conversation about knowing your worth and shining brightly in the garden of life. 

 

No, this is about not asking those around you to bloom before they are ready. 

 

One of the hardest parts of your self-development journey is accepting that the people around you might not be on a journey of their own, or at least not in the same place that you are. Once we start down this growth journey, we are ready for everyone to join us right away. You know the difference it makes in your life, and you begin to recognize all the ways those closest to you could live fuller lives, and you want so desperately for everyone to be there with you. 

 

One could liken this moment to when you first fall in love. Everything is good, you walk on clouds, and you want to shout from the...

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Change Your Mind

When was the last time you got dressed up for a date or an outing? Do you remember how many times you changed your mind about what you were going to wear? Or how you were going to do your hair? You might have had the perfect outfit in mind all week and when the time came to get dressed you had your whole closet on the bed looking for something else to wear. It might be a bit of a stereotype that women change their minds a lot, but it is something all humans are allowed to do. 

 

Maya Angelou told us to “do the best with what you know, and when you know better, do better.” Think about the changes that have happened over time because someone chose to change their mind. Someone said, there has to be a faster way to get from place to place, so they began looking for an alternative to horse-drawn carriages. Someone chose to stop accepting joint pain as a symptom of old age and created joint replacements. Someone chose to reach for a faster communication solution...

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Acceptance

For the last few weeks, I’ve been talking about self-love and self-worth, and of course, you’ve heard me talk before about self-discovery, finding Purely You, and continuing to grow and evolve. This is my bread and butter, one could say. Without people who continue to want to be better versions of themselves, I’d be out of a job. 

 

Despite all of that, there is one thing I haven’t really talked about before, that I think is important for you to understand. 

 

Self-Acceptance does not hinder self-growth. 

 

Sometimes on this self-growth journey, we begin to judge ourselves for where we are at now. Or get impatient with where we want to be. This is one of those times, we have to take a lesson from our toddlers. 

 

At that age, your little one is not shy about their feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They do not care what people think of them. And they are not in any hurry to be something other than exactly who...

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Releasing Old Belief Systems

It is time for some real talk... I see more and more clients who are beating themselves up and undermining their uniqueness because of how they estimate their own value. 
Thoughts like, "I only got 2 things done today, I was lazy." 
"I am xx years old and still haven't gotten a promotion, I'm worthless." 
"I don't have a partner/baby, I am broken." 
"I don't have xx in my bank account, I must be doing something wrong." 
 
Pay attention to thoughts like these. Often these negative self-talk patterns come from belief systems we formed in childhood. Whether they were beliefs instilled in us from our parents or ones we learned along the way from our social circles and society, they are belief systems that we can let go of. 
 
You must first identify the belief systems you're holding that are no longer serving you. Ask yourself WHY these words are a part of your inner dialogue. Why do you feel the need to continue to behave in...
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Other People's Choices

Every now and then when I work with a client, I say something that feels profoundly wise to me. Like an "ah-ha" moment in my own life, that somehow gets to serve that client too. It is one of my favorite things about the work that I do. I get to learn right alongside each of you and that just leads us all to a life filled with more love, joy, and happiness. Here's the statement that I was blessed to share in that session:
 
Other people's choices may affect you, but they are not about you. 
 
Ponder on that for a minute. Is there a situation in your life where you've held onto some anger, resentment, or frustration because of someone else's decision? A decision that might have changed some things in your life, but one that was made solely by another individual and didn't have anything to do with you. 
 
For example, let's say you're running late for work and the person in front of you is driving 3 mph under the speed limit. It is frustrating. It...
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