Respond Differently

Growing up there were a couple of sitcoms we watched as a family (back when TV was a little more family-friendly) that often referred to anger management techniques. The two I remember the most were the rubber band on the wrist, to be snapped during moments of anger, and the “close your eyes and count to 10 before responding" rule. I feel like these things were mentioned quite often on TV...but maybe they were just techniques that stood out to me so I remembered them well. Either way, this conversation is more about that choice to respond differently than the first instinct. The decision to snap the rubber band, or count to ten before responding is a conscious choice that affects the outcome of the situation... In a big way. 

In every interaction you partake in, you have the ability to choose how you will respond to the situation at hand. There are SO many human emotions, your options are truly endless. The question becomes, what does this response create in my life? See...

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Don't Judge Others

It is safe to say we have seen many things over the last couple of years that have tested our patience, our values, and our thoughts about the world around us. Watching your partners, your co-workers, your kids, and your society navigate the pandemic, the economic hardships, and the continuing challenges we are all facing has certainly been an adventure.

It is easy to fall into a space of judgment when evaluating how others are handling these situations. "Well, I wouldn't have done that" or "if you'd do it my way, it would all be perfect." The reality is that you may have done it differently, and your way might be easier for you... but that doesn't mean that you get to judge them for how they chose to live through this challenging phase of life. No different than you don't get to judge a new mom or another couple's relationship. 

Among other things, one of the biggest reasons we don't judge is because we are all here on this earth to learn things. And my goodness,...

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Fresh Start

 As we watch the world wake up in the spring, it brings to mind new beginnings, new life, and a fresh start. January 1 is usually credited for all the “new” ideas, plans, and goals in our life, but who says you can create new goals any time of year? Or that your priorities can’t change mid-year? Shoot, sometimes your priorities change mid-week, or even before noon some days. While that is just the nature of life sometimes, it can also show a lack of commitment or an unfounded goal. 

 

Looking back at the last time you made a goal or a resolution, have you been able to honor it? Are you making choices every day that get you closer to reaching it? If not, why is that? 

 

Maybe the last time you set a goal, your priorities were very focused on physical wellness, but an injury has forced you to change what that looks like for you. Maybe your goal was all about getting your home organized, and then you found out that you were unexpectedly going...

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Who are you in this season?

What season of life are you in? 

 

I just recently celebrated my 10-year anniversary of graduating from nursing school. I obtained my BSN at the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota. When I look back at the last 10 years, or even 14 years if we include my time in school, I am amazed by the different seasons of life that time has brought to me. From insecurity, abusive relationships, and a need to please others to confidence, empowerment, and a desire to live life as my best self every day, a whole lot has changed. Obviously, some of that change is tangible. I’m no longer living on a college kid budget and donating plasma to buy gas or groceries for the week. I’m no longer questioning my basic nursing skills. I’m no longer single without children as I am now married with a beautiful Bonus Daughter and another daughter on the way. 

 

But some of those life stages are less noticeable and less tangible. I no longer question my faith or what...

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Bloom in Season

Have you ever heard the quote about how a flower doesn’t care what the flower next to it looks like, it just blooms anyway? We can all learn something from that, but this isn’t a conversation about knowing your worth and shining brightly in the garden of life. 

 

No, this is about not asking those around you to bloom before they are ready. 

 

One of the hardest parts of your self-development journey is accepting that the people around you might not be on a journey of their own, or at least not in the same place that you are. Once we start down this growth journey, we are ready for everyone to join us right away. You know the difference it makes in your life, and you begin to recognize all the ways those closest to you could live fuller lives, and you want so desperately for everyone to be there with you. 

 

One could liken this moment to when you first fall in love. Everything is good, you walk on clouds, and you want to shout from the...

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Change Your Mind

When was the last time you got dressed up for a date or an outing? Do you remember how many times you changed your mind about what you were going to wear? Or how you were going to do your hair? You might have had the perfect outfit in mind all week and when the time came to get dressed you had your whole closet on the bed looking for something else to wear. It might be a bit of a stereotype that women change their minds a lot, but it is something all humans are allowed to do. 

 

Maya Angelou told us to “do the best with what you know, and when you know better, do better.” Think about the changes that have happened over time because someone chose to change their mind. Someone said, there has to be a faster way to get from place to place, so they began looking for an alternative to horse-drawn carriages. Someone chose to stop accepting joint pain as a symptom of old age and created joint replacements. Someone chose to reach for a faster communication solution...

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Acceptance

For the last few weeks, I’ve been talking about self-love and self-worth, and of course, you’ve heard me talk before about self-discovery, finding Purely You, and continuing to grow and evolve. This is my bread and butter, one could say. Without people who continue to want to be better versions of themselves, I’d be out of a job. 

 

Despite all of that, there is one thing I haven’t really talked about before, that I think is important for you to understand. 

 

Self-Acceptance does not hinder self-growth. 

 

Sometimes on this self-growth journey, we begin to judge ourselves for where we are at now. Or get impatient with where we want to be. This is one of those times, we have to take a lesson from our toddlers. 

 

At that age, your little one is not shy about their feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They do not care what people think of them. And they are not in any hurry to be something other than exactly who...

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Staying Motivated

The start of a new year, a new month, a new job, a new adventure creates an energy of new goals, dreams, and motivations. Have you ever noticed how the luster and excitement of starting something new wears off and all of a sudden you’re not interested anymore? Maybe you have a pile of yarn from that new crocheting hobby you were going to take up. Maybe you have an online course you bought to learn a new skill or some self-development. Maybe you bought a membership for a gym that you used 4 times and have never been back. Not because you didn’t enjoy any of it, but because the new wore off. Don’t judge yourself for this, it happens to the best of us—92% of us according to inc.com. So, what on earth are you supposed to do to stay motivated?

 

Step one: Stop shoulding on yourself.

 

So often we do things because we “should.” I should be going to the gym, so I’ll buy a membership. I should have a hobby to relax, so I’ll take up...

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Grateful for the Lessons

It is often said in the “coaching world” that we teach that which we need to learn. My goodness, how true that is. So often I find myself saying things in a session with a client and thinking, “Self, pay attention. You needed to hear that too!” The wisdom I have been blessed with over the last 7 years of this work has helped me to grow and evolve just as much as my clients do. As we’re all in the spirit of offering gratitude, I have to share my gratefulness for these lessons! I am a human and I face challenges just like you do. Sometimes I forget to ground, sometimes I don’t say “no” often enough, sometimes I don’t make self-care a priority and I end up burnt out… We are not meant to be perfect on this journey called life, we are simply meant to find peace in the process. Every time I find myself a little off, I remember the lessons I have learned from my clients. The ones that blow my mind and speak straight to my soul....

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Other People's Choices

Every now and then when I work with a client, I say something that feels profoundly wise to me. Like an "ah-ha" moment in my own life, that somehow gets to serve that client too. It is one of my favorite things about the work that I do. I get to learn right alongside each of you and that just leads us all to a life filled with more love, joy, and happiness. Here's the statement that I was blessed to share in that session:
 
Other people's choices may affect you, but they are not about you. 
 
Ponder on that for a minute. Is there a situation in your life where you've held onto some anger, resentment, or frustration because of someone else's decision? A decision that might have changed some things in your life, but one that was made solely by another individual and didn't have anything to do with you. 
 
For example, let's say you're running late for work and the person in front of you is driving 3 mph under the speed limit. It is frustrating. It...
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