According to an article posted in Forbes in 2021, at least 52% of the working population is feeling the strain of burnout. Yikes! That means if you’re not feeling it, the person sitting next to you likely is. The worst part is they might not even be aware of it. You can’t fix it if you don’t even realize that it’s happening.
So often I hear clients tell me all the ways they are struggling in their day-to-day and then follow that up with something like, “but this is ‘adulting,’ right?” As in, I shouldn’t complain because this is just what being an adult is. They always told us being a grown-up was no fun.
Here’s the reality. While being an adult does come with its own set of responsibilities and stressors that our children know nothing about, it doesn’t have to feel this heavy and exhausting! Some days are hard, yes. Some situations require a lot from you, yes. But if every day feels like a...
Transition is hard! Change is hard. It’s not impossible, but it is hard. My family just moved to a new home about 5 miles out of town. As I’m coming back to my roots and making adjustments to how I’ve been living for the last 10+ years (the grocery store is no longer 5 blocks away, turns out I had become a bit accustomed to that), I’m having to work hard to stay grounded and continue my practices of self-care. It’s been beautiful, but it is a challenge. Deciding where to keep the plates, which drawer the silverware should go in, and deciding where the linen cupboard should be are just some of the struggles that come with moving into a new place. It’s a transition, and the transition is never easy, but it is so worth it. Sitting on my back porch with my dog, the cats that came with the place, and watching the sunrise as I write this make it oh so worth the challenges.
With this transition in my personal life, also comes a transition in...
Offering someone compassion doesn't always feel as easy as criticizing them. Because it feels hard it might even feel “better” to criticize before we offer compassion. Sit with that for a second… it feels better to criticize others than it does to offer compassion. Not just others, but yourself too. It feels better to criticize yourself than to offer yourself compassion because that is easier. Like water, we do take the path of least resistance. But like water in a flood zone, that path can certainly be destructive!
Today, I want you to check your inner dialogue. Whether it’s walking through the store or after a conversation with your co-workers or interacting with a customer. Your knee-jerk response is likely one with a negative approach. “What is she wearing?” “I cannot believe she allows her kids to do that!” “Grow up and manage your money like an adult and you wouldn’t need to put items back.”...
My husband and I have this great arrangement in our marriage. If I’m working at the hospital, he cooks supper, if I’m not, I cook. I had mentioned this at work one day and one of the ladies told me how lucky I was that he would do that. For a while, I thought she was right, I am pretty lucky, not every husband would cook for his family while his wife worked 12+ hour days. And then I thought… wait a second. Although I have a great husband who is loving a supportive, I’m not "lucky" that he cooks supper 3 times a week. It’s not about luck as much as it is the things we value. We have an understanding of each other’s time and energy… Don’t go all thinking that my husband is more evolved than any other man because truthfully he is not. He calls all my work woo-woo and has never once read a personal development book in his life. However, from day one in our relationship, I knew that my time, my energy, and my financial contribution...
I don’t know about you but as a child, I thought that my family knew what was best all the time. What we did and believed was elite and any other opinion was “wrong.” I’m talking about things like Chevy trucks, John Deere Tractors, and Pepsi. I remember the first time I saw my older sister drink a Dr. Pepper and my 8-year-old sassy self told her that in our family we drank Pepsi so she needed to make a different choice… and yes that is read with ALL THE SASS. My sister was aware of something that I didn’t know at that time. She had lived enough life to learn that it is okay to choose something different than those before us.
As you grow and evolve, you may find that you are ready to make some choices that look different than those of the people around you. Maybe even different from the choices you’ve made in the past. I’m here to tell you, THAT IS OKAY. The apple may not fall far from the tree, but it is still an...
What defines you? Is it your hair color? “I’m blonde so I must be ditzy” “I’m a redhead so I am short tempered.” Is it your gender? “I’m female so I’m supposed to enjoy cooking.” “I’m male so I must know a lot about vehicles.” Is it your education? “I have a PHD so I know everything.” “I dropped out of high school, so I know nothing and cannot be successful.” …. These all sound crazy don’t they.
Try these one on for size:
“I don’t have a partner so I am not loveable.”
“I have a chronic illness, so I cannot be happy.”
“I was abused, so I cannot have a healthy relationship.”
Are any of those true? Or just as crazy as saying your hair color determines your attitude?
You are not defined by the way you look.
You are not defined by the things that happen to you.
Yes, there are defining moments in your life. The...
Do you remember the old story of the tortoise and the hare? They are racing towards the finish line and the hare is so sure he will win that he got distracted and decided to take a nap. Not because he was tired. Not because it was his normal time of day to rest, but because he was being arrogant. The tortoise, on the other hand, continues slow and steady until he wins the race. He does not rest, but he does not hurry through either.
What lessons we have to learn from these two!?
The hare hurries in the beginning, becomes sure he will win, so he rests and misses his opportunity to cross the finish line first. How many times have you done this with your own goals? Maybe you decide you’re going to “get in shape” so you start by running a mile on day one, even though you haven’t run a mile in years. On day two you’re so sore that you need to rest. Day three hurts worse than day two, so you rest a little longer. By day four your...
We talked all about protecting your space, and we’ve talked about releasing your burdens, but what about respect? I had a teacher in high school who was deeply respected. Although he was a great teacher, his respect came from the expectation he set in his classroom, not because our 16, 17, and 18-year-old selves noticed how great he was. You always referred to him as Mr. Dare, never just coach or by his last name. You were never late for his class. You didn’t break his rules. He expected excellence from you, no matter your reputation. And so he got it.
You can do the same in your life. We often allow the disrespect that comes our way. Maybe not the first offense, but from the ones that continue to treat us poorly. Most behavior is learned behavior, right? So, if my child colors on the walls and there is no punishment, she doesn’t learn to take responsibility for her actions and will most likely color on the walls again. She...
You may be wondering why someone would choose an alternative therapy as a part of their wellness regimen. There are a few different reasons people come to appreciate the ancient practices. You see, alternative therapies have withstood the transitions of time and the advancement of our world. If they hadn‘t they would have taken the path of “twilight sleep” (read more on it here) or ice-pick lobotomies. One other attraction to alternative therapies is that they often look for a real root cause to all issues. They dive into the depths of the body, mind, and soul to discover how to correct the imbalances that are creating the physical symptoms. The practices themselves are designed to take time to heal, there is no quick fix, although many people feel improvement right away. Our medical society is designed in such a way that you get 15 minutes tops with your doctor, in some cases only 7 because that physician is double booked. That has created a...
This is one of my favorite things to talk about. Alternative, complementary, integrated, “new age” are all terms for the same collection of practices. Examples of these practices would include acupuncture, massage, herbalism, energy healing, meditation, chiropractic care… yoga and even prayer could be on this list. These are techniques of healing that most students in medical school are not trained in and in most parts of America not accepted as mainstream medicine. That’s where the term “alternative” comes from. Alternative practices are the opposite of allopathic or Western medicine. Western Medicine is not all bad. It has provided many wonderful things to our society and amazing discoveries about the body and how it works. Also of note, as western medicine evolves practices such as dry needling are being developed. The theory of the practice is not...
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