I am a nurse and a Women’s Wellness Coach.
When I tell people that I usually get one of three replies.
It seems that the term coach is being used for anything and everything these days. For many years we have recognized coaches for sports of all kinds, and even voice and speech coaches. It is in more recent years that coaches for every other aspect of life have started to emerge in droves. Nutrition, finances, mindset, meditation, lifting, running, you name it, they’re hireable. Other terms used for these people have been guide, mentor, and advisor. A rose by any other name… right? In this instance, coach, guide, mentor, advisor, etc, are basically the same. To coach, by definition is to train or instruct. As a Women’s Wellness Coach, I help coach you to find wellness, in your mind, body, and soul....
I'm sorry, I just had to share
Have you ever heard the phrase, "seen and not heard"? In past generations, it was believed that this should be true of women and even of children. Thankfully, this belief system is primarily one of the past. However, old habits die hard… we still see remnants of that teaching in common behaviors today.
One example of this is when we hear someone say, "I'm sorry, I just had to share…"
As in, "I have something on my heart that I'd like to share, but I feel bad about drawing attention to myself."
It is likely not conscious, you might not even realize you’re doing it. But I hear and read some semblance of that phrase far too often.
We apologize for taking up space, for being noticed, and for asking to be heard. We apologize for sharing stories, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. We apologize for something we really are not...
Last week we talked about delegation and how empowering others can help them develop just as much as it can help you relax. Win, win, right?!
But what happens when the frustrations you have are from situations you have little control over? A client of mine recently said, "I just wish people would be nice to each other!" Neither one of us has any control over how others behave, but their behavior impacts us just the same.
Hearing about murders, abuse, assault, death, hate crime, etc can sure put a damper on your day. I watch the news very sparingly for this reason. As an empath, it's hard to hear all the heavy, heartbreaking stories without doing a lot of work to keep my light shining bright. But that same heartbreak is sometimes in our own homes, our workplaces, or communities. You can just turn off the news but you can't avoid life. So what do you do?
First, you change your mindset. It is so easy to think...
Something that is often taught in leadership development is the art of delegation. Learning what tasks to hand to others on your team and empowering them to accomplish those tasks can really change the way your team interacts, and of course, lightens your load too!
This concept can be the same in your household too. You know better than anyone that you're the captain of that ship. It's up to you to make sure there are clean clothes to wear, grandma gets a birthday card, and the goldfish has been fed. Sometimes the weight of it all feels unbearable. Overwhelming. Even frustrating.
What would happen if you began to delegate some of those tasks or responsibilities? Of course, you're not going to have your toddler paying bills, but they could probably feed the fish. Are your children old enough to wash their own clothes? What about being responsible for a meal or a side dish?
Now you're probably thinking...
Often we look into self-care when feeling exhausted, burnt out, and overwhelmed. But, what if you looked at it from prevention than from recovery? I’ve always been a supporter of routine maintenance over crisis management. In a perfect world, we would make time for self-care every day. If you’re looking for some quick strategies to support your self-care I have a good list of them HERE. There is one thing that isn’t on that list though. A variety of self-care that often is overlooked.
Awareness.
In particular, being aware of your own limits. Knowing your limits in all facets of life is vital for keeping you grounded, organized, and free from burnout. Let’s use this example from my high school days. My nephew was in the class below me and we were both involved in many of the same activities, track being one of them. He was a distance runner. I was a jumper. So when he wanted to “go for a run” his idea was 8+miles at a...
Mom-guilt is such a strange emotion.
It is all-encompassing and sometimes feels impossible to avoid.
Work too much- mom guilt
Work too little - mom guilt
Clean the house- mom guilt
Don't clean the house - mom guilt
Feed your kids take-out- mom guilt
Don't feed your kids take-out- mom guilt
You add in the ever-changing recommendations and research in raising children and there's a whole other myriad of guilt-inducing challenges (cry it out or don't, vaccinate right away or delay, allow devices or don't, attachment parenting or free-range parenting, etc etc etc).
We have these ideals and standards in our minds about what a perfect mom is and allow ourselves to feel guilty when we are less than that imaginary figure in our minds. It's not easy mama. I hear you. And while there's so much to unpack around those standards and how you feel, there is a slight change you can make in your home that can help you feel good...
Self-care, self-love, me-time. These phrases are ones we hear often. But do you have any idea what that even means? Do you hear yourself saying, “must be nice” when someone talks about taking some time for themselves? We’ve all been there. Some days it feels like there just isn’t any time for you. Some days it feels too expensive, wasteful, or even selfish. But every day, it is necessary.
As a society, we always find the money, the time, the space, and the energy, to make things happen that we really want and need. The most heartbreaking example of this is when a loved one is ill. In your day-to-day life, you don’t have the time or money to visit. But when that person becomes ill, you make the time. You find the money. You find the way and get there. Immediately, this becomes a priority, and we always figure out the way for our priorities. I challenge you to prioritize your health and well-being this month. Sure, life is crazy and busy...
I had an experience the other day that really made me think. It was a prime example of how we as women tear each other down. How instead of encouraging and embracing each other in their power, we work to prevent that in one another. Now, I’d imagine that most of us don’t do it on purpose, but it is something we need to begin to be aware of. I’ll tell you the story...
There I was having a conversation with someone about raising children. The struggles, the successes, the challenges, and all the things that come with guiding a young human in this crazy world. We have had different experiences, as she has her own biological children and no nieces/nephews and at that time I had a bonus daughter, as well as many nieces and nephews. During our conversation, she said something to the effect of, “well you haven’t had children so you don’t really understand.” My knee-jerk reaction is to say, “yeah, you’re right” and give this...
One of the biggest complaints I hear from moms is that they just don’t have time. There is no time for the laundry, the dishes, the floors, the kids, the pets, or the husband, much less time for themselves! Throw in your work responsibilities and now not only is there no time, but there’s also hardly any energy! Constantly feeling like there is not enough time causes a lot of guilt, and maybe even a bit of shame too. The peace that you should feel when you finally get to crawl into bed for the night is overshadowed by the list of things you didn’t get done today. I know how you feel, I’ve been there too. Sometimes I am still there. It would be so easy for me to tell you, “you’re just putting too much on yourself and you need to lighten up”... But I think you’d reach right through this screen and slap me if I did that! Yes, we can hear those words, or similar ones, and agree that that would help, but deep down we know that hearing it...
Much of what I work on with my clients is based on stress relief. Whether that's stress from a current situation, stress from past events, or stress caused by our current lifestyle, it all boils down to a lack of peace in the body, mind, and soul.
We hear so much these days about self-care, work-life balance, and wellness it's easy to forget that each of these is more than just buzz words.
A stress response from the body can be a good thing. This is your fight or flight response. This is the mechanism in the body that helps you to fight a virus, shiver when you're cold, and run from the saber tooth tiger to save your life. We certainly want those things to keep happening. The difference between these scenarios and the kind of stress most of us endure is that each of those scenarios is short-lived. Here and gone in a matter of weeks. Your work stress likely isn't that way.
That is where we run into problems and why there is so...
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