Learn From The Past

Are you one of those people that replays a conversation over in your mind for days thinking, “oh I should have said THAT instead!” or “what was I thinking when I uttered those words?” To some degree, we all do this. Self-reflection is a part of how we learn to be the best version of ourselves we can be. Maybe it is in that moment of awareness that you realize you could have turned a situation into a teaching moment instead of yelling at your child. Maybe in that reflection, you realize you weren’t very kind and need to apologize. Maybe, you realize that you didn’t hold your boundaries and there’s still work to do in that part of your life. All of these things are okay, as long as you allow yourself to grow through them. 

 

This type of inner dialogue becomes a hindrance when you dwell on the what-ifs and could have beens, instead of ways to improve the next similar encounter. Dwelling on the negative aspect often leads to feelings...

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Don't Judge Others

It is safe to say we have seen many things over the last couple of years that have tested our patience, our values, and our thoughts about the world around us. Watching your partners, your co-workers, your kids, and your society navigate the pandemic, the economic hardships, and the continuing challenges we are all facing has certainly been an adventure.

It is easy to fall into a space of judgment when evaluating how others are handling these situations. "Well, I wouldn't have done that" or "if you'd do it my way, it would all be perfect." The reality is that you may have done it differently, and your way might be easier for you... but that doesn't mean that you get to judge them for how they chose to live through this challenging phase of life. No different than you don't get to judge a new mom or another couple's relationship. 

Among other things, one of the biggest reasons we don't judge is because we are all here on this earth to learn things. And my goodness,...

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Who are you in this season?

What season of life are you in? 

 

I just recently celebrated my 10-year anniversary of graduating from nursing school. I obtained my BSN at the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota. When I look back at the last 10 years, or even 14 years if we include my time in school, I am amazed by the different seasons of life that time has brought to me. From insecurity, abusive relationships, and a need to please others to confidence, empowerment, and a desire to live life as my best self every day, a whole lot has changed. Obviously, some of that change is tangible. I’m no longer living on a college kid budget and donating plasma to buy gas or groceries for the week. I’m no longer questioning my basic nursing skills. I’m no longer single without children as I am now married with a beautiful Bonus Daughter and another daughter on the way. 

 

But some of those life stages are less noticeable and less tangible. I no longer question my faith or what...

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Pelvic Pain and Emotions

Have you ever heard the expression, “she walked in like she owned the place”? Descriptions like this are referring the way someone carries themselves. Either with confidence or on the flip side, timid and shy. Either way, you can see the difference in mere seconds of being around someone. The way you carry your happiness and your stress affects every part of you and how you show up. 

 

Every situation and emotion we experience is carried in a specific place or way in the body. For example, tension is usually carried in our neck and shoulders, and that leads to tension headaches. Stress, carried in our gut,  leads to ulcers. Both of these are fairly well known. But did you know that the way you carry the stress of your obligations or your to-do list, can cause pelvic pain? 

 

As busy women, we all have to-do lists and they never quite seem to be complete. That is a stressor all in itself, but not the one that I want to explore today. March is...

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Be Open to New Things

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about how you become the best version of yourself with the least amount of resistance. 

 

You allow yourself to learn new things, accept new truths, and change your behaviors. 

 

So many of my clients come to me ready for their life to look different. Ready to “stop feeling like this” or saying, “something’s gotta give.” I love when I hear things like that because, despite their misery, I know they are in a place where they are truly ready to make some changes. 

 

It is easier said than done though, isn’t it? When we have lived with specific thought patterns or behaviors for many years, it is difficult to un-do them overnight. Especially with that little voice in the back of your head talking you out of it. 

 

Maybe it says things like, 

 

“I have done this for xx years and it’s been fine.” 

“That’s not going to...

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Acceptance

For the last few weeks, I’ve been talking about self-love and self-worth, and of course, you’ve heard me talk before about self-discovery, finding Purely You, and continuing to grow and evolve. This is my bread and butter, one could say. Without people who continue to want to be better versions of themselves, I’d be out of a job. 

 

Despite all of that, there is one thing I haven’t really talked about before, that I think is important for you to understand. 

 

Self-Acceptance does not hinder self-growth. 

 

Sometimes on this self-growth journey, we begin to judge ourselves for where we are at now. Or get impatient with where we want to be. This is one of those times, we have to take a lesson from our toddlers. 

 

At that age, your little one is not shy about their feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They do not care what people think of them. And they are not in any hurry to be something other than exactly who...

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Love Yourself Like You Love Others

Did you ever watch the show Suits? It was a lawyer show running from 2011 to 2019. One of the lead characters, Harvey Spector, often had some great advice. He was a tough-love kind of man, and maybe even a little selfish once in a while, but man did he share some wisdom. I ran across a quote from him the other day and thought about you. 

 

As a kind-hearted human, you are so quick to share your love with others. To pour your energy into someone else in their hour of need, or just to put a smile on their face. 

 

You work so hard to put good into the world. 

 

You would move Heaven and Earth to ease the pain of someone you love or prevent that heartache altogether. 

 

You sacrifice your time and energy to lend a helping hand. 

 

And you do all of this without thinking twice. Because, why wouldn’t you? 

 

If someone has ever asked you why you do the things you do or told you you were crazy for putting in that much...

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People Are Like Plants

I recently read a post online that explained how people are like plants. No, not the idea of needing water and sunshine to thrive-although that is true too. In this case, the point was that not everyone wants to grow in the same way. There is often a lot of talk around people climbing the ladder at work, creating more financial abundance, building a bigger house, etc. More. More. More. But what does it mean if you’re happy with where you’re at? If you don’t want to climb that ladder and chase another dollar? 

 

For the sake of this conversation, it means that you grow differently. See, a Poplar grows fast, tall, and lean, while a Japanese Maple grows slow with a wider shape. Very different, but growth just the same. 

 

We are all like that too. You and I can both be growing and chasing goals, but the end result might look very different. Maybe my goal is to do some deep emotional work that no one really sees or notices, like how roots grow...

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Make Time For Your Priorities: Part 2

Last week we were discussing how often we use the lack of time as an excuse for not doing those things we said we were going to do. You can read the whole post HERE but the main jist of it is that we make time for the things we call a priority as long as we are clear about what those priorities are. 

If you feel like you’ve mastered that and you’re still struggling to find the time to do participate in the things you’d like to do, whether that is a hobby or simply keeping up with laundry then we have to change our approach a little bit. If you’ve already mastered the skill of staying committed to your goals, honoring your priorities, and avoiding distractions and you still end the day with unfinished tasks it can certainly make you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel and not getting anywhere. 

My number one tip for this: Outsource! Look to your friends, family, and small businesses to help you accomplish all the things. You can hire a cleaning...

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Make Time For Your Priorities: Part 1

So often I hear someone tell me, “I don’t have time for that.” Immediately, I know that time is not the problem. Poor time management might be at play-I know I’m not the only one that gets sucked into social media! But more than likely, it’s an unclear understanding of your priorities that is the problem. 

See, we all get the same 24 hours in a day. Most people have a 40-50-hour workweek. Most people have homes to clean, groceries to buy, and laundry to do too. Among a million other things they’d like to do. The issue lies in having to make the decision between doing thing A or thing B. I used to have the same struggle until I got intentional about how I spend my time. Because we ONLY get 24 hours in the day. I can make more money. I can buy more food. I can watch that show later, but I cannot get this moment back. It sounds so cliché, but the truth is time is priceless. No one can make more, no one can stop it, no one can refund it....

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