Have you ever heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”? If you read my post Self-Care isn't Selfish you know exactly what I’m talking about. So often our cups are empty because of the lives we lead. We are overwhelmed with the busyness of life and we have allowed society to tell us what is important, and in most cases taking care of ourselves is not at the top of that list. We have allowed our schedules to get so full that there is no room for us anymore. We have nothing left to give. That is when your cup is empty. When you feel like there is just nothing left of you or just not enough of you. If you’ve ever thought or uttered the words, “I’m just one person, I can’t do it all,” then you know exactly what I mean.
Routine self-care usually keeps us out of that feeling. It keeps us from getting to a place of burnout, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. But what happens if we allow ourselves to keep...
A friend recently reached out to me with two different job opportunities available to her. She was grateful for the opportunity, but these are life-changing decisions and she was having a hard time deciding what would be best for herself and her family. I’m sure you’ve been in that position. If I choose this path then these things will happen. If I choose that path then those things will happen. Each choice came with its own set of benefits and its own set of risks. When we compared the pros and cons of each job, they were about the same. The good of this one matched the good of that one, they were just different kinds of good… which makes it hard to make a decision. The conversation gave way to many, “yeah… but” arguments {insert “Yabits come at Easter Dad Jokes here}. We went rounds in the conversation. She and her husband went rounds in the conversation. She went many rounds in her own head… and was still stuck at making a...
Self-care is kind of a buzzword these days. Everyone's talking about it, but that doesn't make it any easier to partake in. Especially if you've been lead to believe that self-care is girls' getaways and expensive spa days.
It has been said that you become the average of the people you surround yourself with. That you should always try to be around people who are the type of people you want to be. There is conflicting research to this point, but I like the sentiment. The idea that we are influenced by what and who we are exposed to makes perfect sense to me. We’ve talked about how the media you consume changes your vibration. We’ve talked about how some people just suck the life out of you. So it would make sense that the people you spend your time around will affect how you show up in the world.
Take a quick inventory of your friends. Who in your life pushes you to do better? Who teaches you things? Who challenges your ideas or holds you accountable for your actions? Anyone? Maybe you’re the person who holds others accountable in your life and challenges them to be better and do better. If that is a one-sided street, then you are likely not reaching your full...
The other day my friends and I got together for a little backyard BBQ. I was late to the party because my husband and I are working on a home remodel and it took us a bit to wrap up for the day. It was 70+ degrees and sunny and beautiful out. I couldn't wait to get out and enjoy it, so I didn’t take the time to shower or shave my legs or wash my hair. I put my shorts on, grabbed some chips and salsa, and away I went.
We were sitting around visiting and I looked down at my pasty white, hairy legs, and I giggled to myself. Here I was at a social gathering, dusty, dirty, and unshaved. There was a time in my life, that never would have been okay. I would have sacrificed the time with my friends to wash my hair and clean the dust off. I would have taken the extra time to shave my legs and put on a self-tanner. I would have put fresh makeup on and made sure my hair was done. I would have felt the need to be “perfect” before I showed up. But not...
Let’s have a little real talk today. Real talk, because I am sick and tired of hearing people excuse their poor behavior or their inability to make changes in their life because of something that has happened to them or the people they were born to.
If you’ve ever heard someone say, “I am this way because…”
Because my mom is this way.
Because of the trauma I suffered.
Because of where I lived.
Because of how I was raised.
Because of this hurt that I endured.
Because of my last name, or my nationality, or because I am the baby in the family.
Because I am not a people person.
Because I am shy.
Because I am picky.
I am this way because…
Usually, if I hear this it is not from a sense of pride. It’s not a, “My mama taught me well” type of conversation. It is an excuse for unbecoming behavior.
I am mean to the new coworkers because I’m just not a...
Balance is a unicorn.
It’s that thing everyone is chasing. A balance between work and family. A balance between work and resting. Balance in your marriage. In your friendships. Balance in all your relationships.
Here’s the thing… Balance is a unicorn.
Maybe it exists in the world, but it feels more like a mythical creature.
What it comes down to is how you honor your priorities.
If I say that my #1 priority is supper with my family every night, I will leave work to make supper every night.
If I want balance between work and rest, then I have to create time for both. I can always see another thing that needs to be done. Another task that needs to be finished. So, I will work myself to the bone, and wait longingly for the day that comes where there is time for rest. Wait longingly for that day to come where everything falls into place and it’s perfectly balanced. But it’s unrealistic to...
Remember when we talked about life school? How we are always growing and evolving and the world will continue to offer us opportunities to learn until we’ve really got those lessons nailed down? Let’s talk about learning patience. Patience is hard. It’s one of those life skills that we all need to have, but most of us struggle with it.
What happens when you need to learn patience in life is that you are provided opportunities to be patient. Like a long check-out line. Or when your doctor is running an hour behind on the day you have an appointment. Or when you’re waiting on construction. For some of us, dial-up internet taught us patience. We have been living in a world that is so full of instant gratification that we have lost a lot of our patience. We have become a society that wants things now. If shipping takes more than 2 days I don’t want it. If the store doesn’t get their shipment in for 3 more days, I’ll just order it...
We are seeing so many shifts in our society right now. Shifts in inclusivity; shifts in how we use technology; shifts in how our kids receive their education; shifts in what social gatherings look like... Many things are shifting. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to change. It’s uncomfortable to see new, to embrace new, to like new. However, it’s sitting in that discomfort that we grow and evolve. It’s how change becomes everlasting, not just in society but in us as individuals as well.
Throughout history, women have had to fight for equality and the same freedoms or rights that men have. For instance, the right to vote (Wyoming Territory, 1869. USA, 1920), the right to equal pay in the workplace (1963), right to obtain your own bank account without a man’s name on it (the 1960s, credit cards 1974), right to participate in education and school-sponsored extra circulars: Title IX (1972), right to take birth control as an unmarried woman (1972),...
There is a quote that says something like, “Preach the gospel every day, and when necessary use words.” I love this as it is a great reminder that actions speak louder than words. Not just in a religious tradition, but in how we show up in the world. There is often some dispute between the way people act and the words they preach. So many tasks are easier said than done. Everyone has great intentions and poor execution. We all WANT things to be different, but very few people do the work to create a different life. There’s never any judgment here, but what a great opportunity for some self-reflection.
My mom always used to tell me, “do as I say, not as I do” anytime she was going against her own teachings. “Don’t cross your legs like that, it’s bad for your circulation and your hips” “Don’t drink pop, it’s a hard addiction to break” “Don’t stay up too late, you need your...
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