Beyond Your Comfort Zone

I have traveled to Guatemala twice for mission trips with the God’s Child Project. We built “houses” for multiple families on these trips. By houses, we’re talking 4 walls and a cement floor; something we would consider more like a garden shed here in the States. There is something so eye-opening about providing service in a third-world country. The stark differences between how we live our lives here in America, and how the people of Guatemala live their lives. I was 20 the first time I went and I remember one of the gentlemen from the Project helping us to process our emotions. Someone in my group had talked about feeling guilty for how “comfortably” she lived her life when the people we were building houses for were just grateful for 4 walls and a Quikcrete floor. That gentleman reminded us that our version of comfortable and their version of comfortable was different, but that didn’t mean our families had any more or fewer struggles than...

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I'm sorry... I just had to share

I'm sorry,  I just had to share

Have you ever heard the phrase,  "seen and not heard"? In past generations, it was believed that this should be true of women and even of children. Thankfully,  this belief system is primarily one of the past.  However,  old habits die hard… we still see remnants of that teaching in common behaviors today.  


One example of this is when we hear someone say,  "I'm sorry,  I just had to share…" 


As in,  "I have something on my heart that I'd like to share,  but I feel bad about drawing attention to myself." 


It is likely not conscious, you might not even realize you’re doing it. But I hear and read some semblance of that phrase far too often. 


We apologize for taking up space,  for being noticed, and for asking to be heard. We apologize for sharing stories, thoughts, ideas, and opinions. We apologize for something we really are not...

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Be the Lighthouse

Last week we talked about delegation and how empowering others can help them develop just as much as it can help you relax. Win,  win,  right?! 


But what happens when the frustrations you have are from situations you have little control over? A client of mine recently said,  "I just wish people would be nice to each other!" Neither one of us has any control over how others behave,  but their behavior impacts us just the same.  


Hearing about murders, abuse, assault, death, hate crime, etc can sure put a damper on your day. I watch the news very sparingly for this reason. As an empath, it's hard to hear all the heavy, heartbreaking stories without doing a lot of work to keep my light shining bright. But that same heartbreak is sometimes in our own homes, our workplaces, or communities. You can just turn off the news but you can't avoid life. So what do you do? 


First,  you change your mindset. It is so easy to think...

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Women Have Always Been Strong

My husband and I have become big fans of the show “1883”. Living in Montana now, and having grown up in Wyoming, I enjoy seeing some of the history play out in “1883” and appreciate the unfolding story of how people settled this part of our world. In the show, there is a young woman who begins her journey on the Oregon Trail as a well-dressed, well-mannered, young lady. As the show progresses, we watch her begin to wear pants, gain a little more sass, and find her independence. Through her heartbreak, the hard knocks of living out of a wagon while traveling across the prairie, and the lack of “civilization” we see a different kind of strength show up in her. As we celebrate Women’s History Month, this transition is one that must be appreciated. 


See, women have always been strong. 


Mary birthed a son who she knew would be ridiculed, tormented, and eventually die. Women birth the future of the human race. We experience...

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Releasing Old Belief Systems

It is time for some real talk... I see more and more clients who are beating themselves up and undermining their uniqueness because of how they estimate their own value. 
Thoughts like, "I only got 2 things done today, I was lazy." 
"I am xx years old and still haven't gotten a promotion, I'm worthless." 
"I don't have a partner/baby, I am broken." 
"I don't have xx in my bank account, I must be doing something wrong." 
Pay attention to thoughts like these. Often these negative self-talk patterns come from belief systems we formed in childhood. Whether they were beliefs instilled in us from our parents or ones we learned along the way from our social circles and society, they are belief systems that we can let go of. 
You must first identify the belief systems you're holding that are no longer serving you. Ask yourself WHY these words are a part of your inner dialogue. Why do you feel the need to continue to behave in...
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"I'm Broken"

She said to me, “I’m broken.”

“I was abused, I’m broken. “

“I was cheated on, I’m broken. “

“I have a diagnosis, I’m broken.”

“I cannot keep a man, I’m broken. “

“I got fired, I’m broken. “

“I lost someone I love, I’m broken. “


I stared into her eyes and said, “You, my dear are not broken. Something broke your heart, but it did not break you.” 


Every time we experience pain, discomfort, heartache, we are given a choice. Allow this to define our lives and be the story of brokenness we tell, the excuse for nothing going right in our lives… OR… we let this pain be a driving force to become better. 


Your past doesn’t have to define you, it can empower you. 


To the one who was abused, you now know to never give your power away. 

To the one who was cheated on, you now know how to find...

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What do you lose?

A friend recently reached out to me with two different job opportunities available to her. She was grateful for the opportunity, but these are life-changing decisions and she was having a hard time deciding what would be best for herself and her family. I’m sure you’ve been in that position. If I choose this path then these things will happen. If I choose that path then those things will happen. Each choice came with its own set of benefits and its own set of risks. When we compared the pros and cons of each job, they were about the same. The good of this one matched the good of that one, they were just different kinds of good… which makes it hard to make a decision. The conversation gave way to many, “yeah… but” arguments {insert “Yabits come at Easter Dad Jokes here}. We went rounds in the conversation. She and her husband went rounds in the conversation. She went many rounds in her own head… and was still stuck at making a...

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I Challenge You

Most of my clients will tell me that they love working with me because I don’t sugarcoat things. I’m going to tell you exactly how it is. My patients and their families will say the same thing. Sometimes, those things are hard to hear. I understand it is hard and that’s why I say it. 


No, I don’t enjoy bursting your bubble, but I do enjoy watching you grow and succeed. You don’t work with me, or even read these blogs because you want to hear that you’re a perfect human being and you could do nothing better, and if something goes wrong it is always someone else’s fault. No… you’re here to grow. You’re here to get tips, tricks, and insights that help guide you to become the purest version of yourself that you can be. You’re here to gain a new perspective and make lasting changes in your life that lead you to peace and happiness and out of burnout and exhaustion.


The journey isn’t always...

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Chasing Perfect

The other day my friends and I got together for a little backyard BBQ. I was late to the party because my husband and I are working on a home remodel and it took us a bit to wrap up for the day. It was 70+ degrees and sunny and beautiful out. I couldn't wait to get out and enjoy it, so I didn’t take the time to shower or shave my legs or wash my hair. I put my shorts on, grabbed some chips and salsa, and away I went. 


We were sitting around visiting and I looked down at my pasty white, hairy legs, and I giggled to myself. Here I was at a social gathering, dusty, dirty, and unshaved. There was a time in my life, that never would have been okay. I would have sacrificed the time with my friends to wash my hair and clean the dust off. I would have taken the extra time to shave my legs and put on a self-tanner. I would have put fresh makeup on and made sure my hair was done. I would have felt the need to be “perfect” before I showed up. But not...

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Hard Conversations

We are seeing so many shifts in our society right now. Shifts in inclusivity; shifts in how we use technology; shifts in how our kids receive their education; shifts in what social gatherings look like... Many things are shifting. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to change. It’s uncomfortable to see new, to embrace new, to like new. However, it’s sitting in that discomfort that we grow and evolve. It’s how change becomes everlasting, not just in society but in us as individuals as well. 


Throughout history, women have had to fight for equality and the same freedoms or rights that men have. For instance, the right to vote (Wyoming Territory, 1869. USA, 1920), the right to equal pay in the workplace (1963), right to obtain your own bank account without a man’s name on it (the 1960s, credit cards 1974), right to participate in education and school-sponsored extra circulars: Title IX (1972), right to take birth control as an unmarried woman (1972),...

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