You’ve asked, so here it is. Some of my favorite essential oils to support us on this wild ride called life. As always, I ask that you do your own research and you never consume a supplement of any kind without making sure it is safe for YOU. Essential oils are best used as a preventative and maintenance treatment, rather than crisis management. A few things to remember before beginning to use them.
Remember in this blog when we were reminded to stop chasing perfect and how we are all beginners at some point? What do you do with yourself when you’re suffering a hardship? When you’re faced with a new experience and you don’t know what to do? You don’t run from it, because remember our goal is not to be perfect.
We embrace the hardship as an opportunity to grow and be better. Allow yourself to be humbled, to say, “hmmm… I have never experienced this before and I don’t know what to do. It is time to learn.”
We are quick to let our ego get in the way when something becomes difficult. “I fail.” “I can’t do this.” “I’m not capable.” “I suck.” “Why does this always happen to me?” and whatever other nasty things you say to yourself. When you start down that rabbit hole of negative self-talk you immediately shut down to the opportunity of...
Over the last year, we have seen a lot of things change in our lives. It has created many changes in our homes, our workplaces, our schools, and our communities. Those adjustments have led to some changes in our relationships as well. Maybe some added stress. Maybe a need for extra effort. Maybe drifting apart under the chaos. Or all of the above.
THAT IS OKAY.
Relationships ebb and flow all the time. The people in your life came into your timeline when you were a very specific version of you, and they were a very specific version of them. You will not always grow at the same pace. You will not always WANT to grow at the same pace or in the same ways. Just because you are in a relationship with someone, does not mean you are less of an individual. You may experience the same events: birth of a child, loss of a parent, buying a home, changes in household income, a world-wide pandemic… but you will experience them in a way that is as unique to you as...
Perfect: being entirely without fault or defect.
So often in our lives, we chase "perfect." The perfect outfit, perfect hair, perfect relationship, perfect car… We put a great deal of energy into being “perfect.”
To be entirely without fault is impossible though. We were not built that way. We were not designed to live this life without failure or defect. Yes, you were created perfect in every way, but a part of what makes you perfect are your imperfections. A part of what makes you perfect is the trial and error side of life. The times when you start as a beginner, nowhere near perfect. The times when you realize you must evolve to keep up with the world around you, and in that transition, you are not perfect. The times when life gets messy and you don’t know quite what to do, you are not perfect.
But you are learning, growing, and evolving. THAT is perfect.
So much of our time is spent on trying to become...
What defines you? Is it your hair color? “I’m blonde so I must be ditzy” “I’m a redhead so I am short tempered.” Is it your gender? “I’m female so I’m supposed to enjoy cooking.” “I’m male so I must know a lot about vehicles.” Is it your education? “I have a PHD so I know everything.” “I dropped out of high school, so I know nothing and cannot be successful.” …. These all sound crazy don’t they.
Try these one on for size:
“I don’t have a partner so I am not loveable.”
“I have a chronic illness, so I cannot be happy.”
“I was abused, so I cannot have a healthy relationship.”
Are any of those true? Or just as crazy as saying your hair color determines your attitude?
You are not defined by the way you look.
You are not defined by the things that happen to you.
Yes, there are defining moments in your life. The...
I once heard a story of a new teacher who had been called into her principal's office for a discussion about her class. As the story goes she was told to not expect much out of these kids as she had a few students who were just getting shuffled from class to class to get them out of the school system. Being a new teacher, full of hope and passion, she didn’t think she could do that. Instead, she thought she better figure out which students he was talking about and offer them extra assistance. While the principal stepped out to get coffee, she snuck through the student files and found numbers at the top of each student folder. She was sure that was their IQ and committed them to memory. When it came time to teach these kids, she set the bar very high as these children were all very smart with outstanding IQs and it was her job to bring it out of them. She worked tirelessly that year to mold the minds of these students and they all did an outstanding job. When the year-end came...
I need help.
Can you help me?
I can’t do it alone.
This is too much for me.
How hard is it to say these words out loud? Do you struggle with admitting you need and/or asking for help?
Do you know why it’s hard to ask?
In part, the difficulty comes from society priding itself on a “self-reliant” culture. We have been conditioned to believe that we should be able to do it all by ourselves. We have been conditioned to believe that to need help from someone is to prove that you are incapable.
That leads to us feeling vulnerable. Exposed. Naked. If I have to ask for help, there must be something wrong with me. If I have to ask for help, I am failing. If I have to ask for help, I am not worthy.
Remember when we talked about growing constantly and how that doesn’t stop when you graduate from school? We are so quick to say the words, “it takes a village to...
Do you remember the old story of the tortoise and the hare? They are racing towards the finish line and the hare is so sure he will win that he got distracted and decided to take a nap. Not because he was tired. Not because it was his normal time of day to rest, but because he was being arrogant. The tortoise, on the other hand, continues slow and steady until he wins the race. He does not rest, but he does not hurry through either.
What lessons we have to learn from these two!?
The hare hurries in the beginning, becomes sure he will win, so he rests and misses his opportunity to cross the finish line first. How many times have you done this with your own goals? Maybe you decide you’re going to “get in shape” so you start by running a mile on day one, even though you haven’t run a mile in years. On day two you’re so sore that you need to rest. Day three hurts worse than day two, so you rest a little longer. By day four your...
The new year is coming, for so many of us, that means a new resolve to do better, be better, make a change. Maybe New Year’s Resolutions are not your thing, but constant growth and evolution should be. The concept is the same. The problem with change is that it is hard. It takes time. It takes commitment and dedication. It takes baby steps.
That is the ticket to any change. Small, consistent steps.
I want you to be successful. I want to see you reach your goals and become the best version of yourself that you can be. So how can you do that? First of all, your goal/resolution has to be specific. “Lose weight” isn’t enough. “Eat healthily” isn’t enough. “Pray more” isn’t enough. “Be happier” isn’t enough. All of these ideas are good, but your resolution needs to have a bit more of a step-by-step process to be truly successful. Did you know that less than 10% of the resolutions made...
Self-Care: the best gift in 2020. In fact, it's the gift that keeps on giving. I’m not talking about your “Jelly of the month membership” from your boss, or that great vacuum you got last year. You see, no matter if you’re gifting it to someone else, or someone else is gifting it to you, self-care is a pay-it-forward type of gift.
Self-care looks different for everyone. Understanding what works for you may be a journey and it might certainly change as often as the weather. The important part is that you find your tools for self-care. The things you can do every day to fill your cup. Once you’ve found those, you’re unstoppable. Yes, self-care often means you have to stop running around like a chicken with its head cut off, but it doesn’t mean that you are less productive.
Here’s how self-care works in your favor. Think...