Have you ever heard it said that kids grow better with love? Research has shown us that our children’s brains actually grow bigger when they are loved. There’s also research stating children grow up to be happier, more resilient adults if they are shown love in their childhood. How cool is that? Something as simple as asking about their day, hugging them before they leave for school and after they come home, and taking an interest in the things they are interested in, helps them become less anxious and more resilient. I do firmly believe in doing our best to raise our babies in such a way that they don’t need to heal from their childhood when they’re grown, but that is not why I bring this up with you today.
We talk about love and growth because you never really stop growing. Just like we talked about in this post for as long as you are here on Earth, you are growing and evolving. I pray that the person you are today is not the same person...
Transition is hard! Change is hard. It’s not impossible, but it is hard. My family just moved to a new home about 5 miles out of town. As I’m coming back to my roots and making adjustments to how I’ve been living for the last 10+ years (the grocery store is no longer 5 blocks away, turns out I had become a bit accustomed to that), I’m having to work hard to stay grounded and continue my practices of self-care. It’s been beautiful, but it is a challenge. Deciding where to keep the plates, which drawer the silverware should go in, and deciding where the linen cupboard should be are just some of the struggles that come with moving into a new place. It’s a transition, and the transition is never easy, but it is so worth it. Sitting on my back porch with my dog, the cats that came with the place, and watching the sunrise as I write this make it oh so worth the challenges.
With this transition in my personal life, also comes a transition in...
She said to me, “I’m broken.”
“I was abused, I’m broken. “
“I was cheated on, I’m broken. “
“I have a diagnosis, I’m broken.”
“I cannot keep a man, I’m broken. “
“I got fired, I’m broken. “
“I lost someone I love, I’m broken. “
I stared into her eyes and said, “You, my dear are not broken. Something broke your heart, but it did not break you.”
Every time we experience pain, discomfort, heartache, we are given a choice. Allow this to define our lives and be the story of brokenness we tell, the excuse for nothing going right in our lives… OR… we let this pain be a driving force to become better.
Your past doesn’t have to define you, it can empower you.
To the one who was abused, you now know to never give your power away.
To the one who was cheated on, you now know how to find...
Who would you be if you weren’t burnt out and tired and exhausted all the time? If you had the energy to get on the floor and play with your kids? What would it look like if you weren’t exhausted? Or if the smallest thing didn’t set you off? If you had the energy and the desire to interact with your partner for more than just the, “how was your day?” “good, how was yours?” type of small talk? What kind of mom would you be if your stress didn’t rule you’re every waking thought? What kind of wife would you be if anger and frustration were not the go-to emotions?
Can you imagine a life where peace is your default setting instead of frustration?
Imagine a life where instead of feeling like everything is your responsibility, you know exactly which tasks are yours and exactly which ones are a priority today. Imagine a life where you get to live in such a way that you do the things that make your heart happy routinely and...
Have you ever heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”? If you read my post Self-Care isn't Selfish you know exactly what I’m talking about. So often our cups are empty because of the lives we lead. We are overwhelmed with the busyness of life and we have allowed society to tell us what is important, and in most cases taking care of ourselves is not at the top of that list. We have allowed our schedules to get so full that there is no room for us anymore. We have nothing left to give. That is when your cup is empty. When you feel like there is just nothing left of you or just not enough of you. If you’ve ever thought or uttered the words, “I’m just one person, I can’t do it all,” then you know exactly what I mean.
Routine self-care usually keeps us out of that feeling. It keeps us from getting to a place of burnout, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. But what happens if we allow ourselves to keep...
I remember early in my nursing career when I was eager to work. I wanted to learn everything I could. I wanted to be helpful. I wanted the overtime in my paycheck. I said yes, every time they called. I said yes every time there were open shifts. I said yes to the 3 am to 3 pm shifts. I said yes to the 8 shifts in a row. I said yes to the “I’ll go home and sleep for 4 hours and come back for 8 more. I said yes to everything. Until one day my parents were up visiting from their home 7 hours away. I got that same ol’ call to come to work in an hour and I said, “NO. My parents are visiting and I don’t want to miss a minute with them.” The response from my co-worker went something like this, “...but we haven’t even tried to call anyone else because we KNEW you’d say yes.”
That did it for me. That was the moment I realized that I was being taken advantage of. My time with my family was not a priority for them, it did...
A friend recently reached out to me with two different job opportunities available to her. She was grateful for the opportunity, but these are life-changing decisions and she was having a hard time deciding what would be best for herself and her family. I’m sure you’ve been in that position. If I choose this path then these things will happen. If I choose that path then those things will happen. Each choice came with its own set of benefits and its own set of risks. When we compared the pros and cons of each job, they were about the same. The good of this one matched the good of that one, they were just different kinds of good… which makes it hard to make a decision. The conversation gave way to many, “yeah… but” arguments {insert “Yabits come at Easter Dad Jokes here}. We went rounds in the conversation. She and her husband went rounds in the conversation. She went many rounds in her own head… and was still stuck at making a...
You know that saying, “if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got”? Have you ever thought about the habits you’ve created in your life? The ones that maybe don’t serve you so well, but you do it anyway, simply because you always have. Why is that a thing?
We are so quick to write off our poor decisions because “that’s just who I am” or “this is just what my family does.” Think about the things in your life that are like that. How often do you use your upbringing, your past, or those bad habits as an excuse for not improving your life? How often do you write off a decision as something you choose because of something that happened to you before?
Here’s an unpopular opinion: You get to decide what choices you make in your life.
This isn’t a conversation about privilege. This isn’t a conversation about manifesting...
Offering someone compassion doesn't always feel as easy as criticizing them. Because it feels hard it might even feel “better” to criticize before we offer compassion. Sit with that for a second… it feels better to criticize others than it does to offer compassion. Not just others, but yourself too. It feels better to criticize yourself than to offer yourself compassion because that is easier. Like water, we do take the path of least resistance. But like water in a flood zone, that path can certainly be destructive!
Today, I want you to check your inner dialogue. Whether it’s walking through the store or after a conversation with your co-workers or interacting with a customer. Your knee-jerk response is likely one with a negative approach. “What is she wearing?” “I cannot believe she allows her kids to do that!” “Grow up and manage your money like an adult and you wouldn’t need to put items back.”...
Most of my clients will tell me that they love working with me because I don’t sugarcoat things. I’m going to tell you exactly how it is. My patients and their families will say the same thing. Sometimes, those things are hard to hear. I understand it is hard and that’s why I say it.
No, I don’t enjoy bursting your bubble, but I do enjoy watching you grow and succeed. You don’t work with me, or even read these blogs because you want to hear that you’re a perfect human being and you could do nothing better, and if something goes wrong it is always someone else’s fault. No… you’re here to grow. You’re here to get tips, tricks, and insights that help guide you to become the purest version of yourself that you can be. You’re here to gain a new perspective and make lasting changes in your life that lead you to peace and happiness and out of burnout and exhaustion.
The journey isn’t always...
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