Heal First, Grow Later

While we know it is better to be a lighthouse in someone else's storm, than to join in their chaos, what happens when that chaos is yours? What do you do when you’re in the middle of your own storm? 

 

When we feel overwhelmed and lost in the hustle, we often do not take care of ourselves. Our energy is low, we are burnt out, exhausted, and feeling lackluster about life. Some circles tell you this is normal,  this is "adulting", and this is life. Others tell you this is abnormal, you're not handling life well, and you need help. Then there's the group that will encourage you to find yourself-read the books,  buy the journals,  and just get better. 

 

I'm not here to judge or to tell you which of these paths is better than the rest. No, let's look at life a little differently.  

 

There are many different seasons of life.  Some are busy and hectic, others are slow and steady. Some bring stress and hardship,  other...

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Change Your Mind

When was the last time you got dressed up for a date or an outing? Do you remember how many times you changed your mind about what you were going to wear? Or how you were going to do your hair? You might have had the perfect outfit in mind all week and when the time came to get dressed you had your whole closet on the bed looking for something else to wear. It might be a bit of a stereotype that women change their minds a lot, but it is something all humans are allowed to do. 

 

Maya Angelou told us to “do the best with what you know, and when you know better, do better.” Think about the changes that have happened over time because someone chose to change their mind. Someone said, there has to be a faster way to get from place to place, so they began looking for an alternative to horse-drawn carriages. Someone chose to stop accepting joint pain as a symptom of old age and created joint replacements. Someone chose to reach for a faster communication solution...

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Criticism vs. Compassion

Offering someone compassion doesn't always feel as easy as criticizing them. Because it feels hard it might even feel “better” to criticize before we offer compassion. Sit with that for a second… it feels better to criticize others than it does to offer compassion. Not just others, but yourself too. It feels better to criticize yourself than to offer yourself compassion because that is easier. Like water, we do take the path of least resistance. But like water in a flood zone, that path can certainly be destructive! 

 

Today, I want you to check your inner dialogue. Whether it’s walking through the store or after a conversation with your co-workers or interacting with a customer. Your knee-jerk response is likely one with a negative approach. “What is she wearing?” “I cannot believe she allows her kids to do that!” “Grow up and manage your money like an adult and you wouldn’t need to put items back.”...

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Grow and Evolve

Grow, learn, evolve... these are words I use often. But why on earth does it matter? I mean we all quit growing by the time we’re 20 (growing vertically anyway), learning stops after school is done, and evolving, well that just sounds a bit too “woo-woo” for comfort right? Wrong.  

You certainly have grown, learned and evolved since you finished school. Think about it, are you the same person now that you were when you were 18? Or 22? If you are, I’d love to work with you because I guarantee you, you’re unaware of how far you’ve come. If you’re not, then yes, you have grown and evolved. Congratulations! You did it!  
 
See, that is the problem... we stop celebrating growth after a certain age. Shoot, we start celebrating the growth and development of our babies in the womb. There are apps that give you weekly updates about how big your baby is and what has developed at this stage (arms, legs, hearing,...

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