Define Enough

If you're anything like me, you've set many different goals for yourself throughout your life. Some people set them every January, sometimes it is at your annual review at work, and sometimes, it is before starting the next academic year, shoot.... you may even set a goal for your day every morning. These things are all wonderful. It is important to have something to strive for and something to help keep you motivated. SMART goals are a great way to help you accomplish those things in life you want to be a part of your legacy. What happens when you reach that goal though? Do you set another one? Do you check it off your list, never to think of it again? Do you take the time to enjoy your success or immediately move on to something different, something more?

It depends on the goal you’re setting. Let’s use weight loss as an example. Many people set a weight loss goal at some time in their lives. Goal: Lose 20 pounds. So, you work at it. You decrease your caloric...

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I'm So Weird

“I’m so weird.”

 

I hear that from clients from time to time and it always makes me smile. Webster's definition of weird is, “of strange or extraordinary character.” 

 

Isn’t that interesting… strange OR extraordinary? We don’t usually use those words interchangeably, yet they are both listed in this definition. Generally, strange has more of a negative connotation in our society, and extraordinary is a positive one. And this is why I smile when people self-proclaim being weird. Because aren’t we all? 

 

Aren’t we all a little of both? A little mix of good and bad, strange and extraordinary, light and dark? 

 

Often when this comes up in conversation, it is used as a precursor to a statement that a person may feel judged for. For example, “I’m weird, I like carrots dipped in peanut butter.” Or, “Maybe, I’m weird but I’d rather shower at night instead of...

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Be Open to New Things

I’m going to let you in on a little secret about how you become the best version of yourself with the least amount of resistance. 

 

You allow yourself to learn new things, accept new truths, and change your behaviors. 

 

So many of my clients come to me ready for their life to look different. Ready to “stop feeling like this” or saying, “something’s gotta give.” I love when I hear things like that because, despite their misery, I know they are in a place where they are truly ready to make some changes. 

 

It is easier said than done though, isn’t it? When we have lived with specific thought patterns or behaviors for many years, it is difficult to un-do them overnight. Especially with that little voice in the back of your head talking you out of it. 

 

Maybe it says things like, 

 

“I have done this for xx years and it’s been fine.” 

“That’s not going to...

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Acceptance

For the last few weeks, I’ve been talking about self-love and self-worth, and of course, you’ve heard me talk before about self-discovery, finding Purely You, and continuing to grow and evolve. This is my bread and butter, one could say. Without people who continue to want to be better versions of themselves, I’d be out of a job. 

 

Despite all of that, there is one thing I haven’t really talked about before, that I think is important for you to understand. 

 

Self-Acceptance does not hinder self-growth. 

 

Sometimes on this self-growth journey, we begin to judge ourselves for where we are at now. Or get impatient with where we want to be. This is one of those times, we have to take a lesson from our toddlers. 

 

At that age, your little one is not shy about their feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They do not care what people think of them. And they are not in any hurry to be something other than exactly who...

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Love Yourself Like You Love Others

Did you ever watch the show Suits? It was a lawyer show running from 2011 to 2019. One of the lead characters, Harvey Spector, often had some great advice. He was a tough-love kind of man, and maybe even a little selfish once in a while, but man did he share some wisdom. I ran across a quote from him the other day and thought about you. 

 

As a kind-hearted human, you are so quick to share your love with others. To pour your energy into someone else in their hour of need, or just to put a smile on their face. 

 

You work so hard to put good into the world. 

 

You would move Heaven and Earth to ease the pain of someone you love or prevent that heartache altogether. 

 

You sacrifice your time and energy to lend a helping hand. 

 

And you do all of this without thinking twice. Because, why wouldn’t you? 

 

If someone has ever asked you why you do the things you do or told you you were crazy for putting in that much...

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Releasing Old Belief Systems

It is time for some real talk... I see more and more clients who are beating themselves up and undermining their uniqueness because of how they estimate their own value. 
Thoughts like, "I only got 2 things done today, I was lazy." 
"I am xx years old and still haven't gotten a promotion, I'm worthless." 
"I don't have a partner/baby, I am broken." 
"I don't have xx in my bank account, I must be doing something wrong." 
 
Pay attention to thoughts like these. Often these negative self-talk patterns come from belief systems we formed in childhood. Whether they were beliefs instilled in us from our parents or ones we learned along the way from our social circles and society, they are belief systems that we can let go of. 
 
You must first identify the belief systems you're holding that are no longer serving you. Ask yourself WHY these words are a part of your inner dialogue. Why do you feel the need to continue to behave in...
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Purely You Blog #100

Let’s Celebrate! This is the 100th Purely You Blog! 

I remember in 6th grade we had to write one paragraph, at least 5 sentences, for homework every night. While I didn’t mind writing, that seemed exhausting. Here I am now choosing to write every week for the last 100 weeks! And every week for a few hundred more… Today we’ll take a beat to reflect on the most popular posts in the first 100. One dozen of them to be exact. So here we go…

 

Starting at the 12th most popular post

 

#12 Protect Your Space. This one is all about preventing people from sucking the life out of you and knowing how to protect your good mood even when you’re around a bunch of negative Nancy’s! “Listen, someone else's rain doesn't have to fall on your parade.”

 

#11 Hard Conversations. This chat is a reminder that we are the examples for our daughters and our daughters will have opportunities to make big changes in our world....

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Helpful or Harmful?

Who doesn’t love to be helpful? We have been told from the beginning of time to help our neighbors, help those in need, help each other out, lend a helping hand, etc… etc…etc… 

I’m all about being helpful, it's one of my most favorite things to do. I love to volunteer. I love to help those less fortunate than me. I love to be a part of something bigger than my own goals, dreams, and desires. And I love when others help me when I'm in need.  Here’s what I don’t love: when offering that help is at the cost of my wellbeing. 

You know how when you’re on a plane and the flight attendant reminds you to put your oxygen mask on first, then help those around you. Do you know why they do that? The reality is that once a plane cabin begins to depressurize, you have about 18 seconds before you start to be affected by the lack of oxygen. If you spend 15 of those seconds helping out someone else, you might not have time...

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Criticism vs. Compassion

Offering someone compassion doesn't always feel as easy as criticizing them. Because it feels hard it might even feel “better” to criticize before we offer compassion. Sit with that for a second… it feels better to criticize others than it does to offer compassion. Not just others, but yourself too. It feels better to criticize yourself than to offer yourself compassion because that is easier. Like water, we do take the path of least resistance. But like water in a flood zone, that path can certainly be destructive! 

 

Today, I want you to check your inner dialogue. Whether it’s walking through the store or after a conversation with your co-workers or interacting with a customer. Your knee-jerk response is likely one with a negative approach. “What is she wearing?” “I cannot believe she allows her kids to do that!” “Grow up and manage your money like an adult and you wouldn’t need to put items back.”...

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Define Your Worth

My husband and I have this great arrangement in our marriage. If I’m working at the hospital, he cooks supper, if I’m not, I cook. I had mentioned this at work one day and one of the ladies told me how lucky I was that he would do that. For a while, I thought she was right, I am pretty lucky, not every husband would cook for his family while his wife worked 12+ hour days. And then I thought… wait a second. Although I have a great husband who is loving a supportive, I’m not "lucky" that he cooks supper 3 times a week. It’s not about luck as much as it is the things we value. We have an understanding of each other’s time and energy… Don’t go all thinking that my husband is more evolved than any other man because truthfully he is not. He calls all my work woo-woo and has never once read a personal development book in his life. However, from day one in our relationship, I knew that my time, my energy, and my financial contribution...

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