One Small Change to Avoid Mom-Guilt

Mom-guilt is such a strange emotion.

 

It is all-encompassing and sometimes feels impossible to avoid. 

 

Work too much- mom guilt

Work too little - mom guilt

 

Clean the house- mom guilt

Don't clean the house - mom guilt

 

Feed your kids take-out- mom guilt

Don't feed your kids take-out- mom guilt

 

You add in the ever-changing recommendations and research in raising children and there's a whole other myriad of guilt-inducing challenges (cry it out or don't,  vaccinate right away or delay, allow devices or don't, attachment parenting or free-range parenting, etc etc etc). 

 

We have these ideals and standards in our minds about what a perfect mom is and allow ourselves to feel guilty when we are less than that imaginary figure in our minds.  It's not easy mama. I hear you. And while there's so much to unpack around those standards and how you feel,  there is a slight change you can make in your home that can help you feel good...

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Women Supporting Women

I had an experience the other day that really made me think. It was a prime example of how we as women tear each other down. How instead of encouraging and embracing each other in their power, we work to prevent that in one another. Now, I’d imagine that most of us don’t do it on purpose, but it is something we need to begin to be aware of. I’ll tell you the story...

 

There I was having a conversation with someone about raising children. The struggles, the successes, the challenges, and all the things that come with guiding a young human in this crazy world. We have had different experiences, as she has her own biological children and no nieces/nephews and at that time I had a bonus daughter, as well as many nieces and nephews. During our conversation, she said something to the effect of, “well you haven’t had children so you don’t really understand.” My knee-jerk reaction is to say, “yeah, you’re right” and give this...

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Big Three Strategy

One of the biggest complaints I hear from moms is that they just don’t have time. There is no time for the laundry, the dishes, the floors, the kids, the pets, or the husband, much less time for themselves! Throw in your work responsibilities and now not only is there no time, but there’s also hardly any energy! Constantly feeling like there is not enough time causes a lot of guilt, and maybe even a bit of shame too. The peace that you should feel when you finally get to crawl into bed for the night is overshadowed by the list of things you didn’t get done today. I know how you feel, I’ve been there too. Sometimes I am still there. It would be so easy for me to tell you, “you’re just putting too much on yourself and you need to lighten up”... But I think you’d reach right through this screen and slap me if I did that! Yes, we can hear those words, or similar ones, and agree that that would help, but deep down we know that hearing it...

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Stress and Your Period

Last week we discussed the effects stress has on your body and mind. Things you may not even realize, check it out here. There is one more significant part of your life that is affected by stress too. Your menstrual cycle. We’ve all heard of the fight-or-flight response, right? The driving force behind that response is the hormone cortisol. Higher levels of cortisol in the bloodstream reduce reproductive hormones, especially progesterone and estrogen. That affects your whole entire month! Let’s review your cycle before we get too far into this. Please know that hormone fluctuations in the body are an intricate and complex process. What I will do here is provide information from a very high-level view. 

 

So let’s have a little refresher on your cycle. If you are not on any kind of hormonal birth control, you have four distinct hormonal phases throughout the month. These phases make up what we know to be our menstrual cycle. Of course, everyone is aware of...

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Respond Differently

Growing up there were a couple of sitcoms we watched as a family (back when TV was a little more family-friendly) that often referred to anger management techniques. The two I remember the most were the rubber band on the wrist, to be snapped during moments of anger, and the “close your eyes and count to 10 before responding" rule. I feel like these things were mentioned quite often on TV...but maybe they were just techniques that stood out to me so I remembered them well. Either way, this conversation is more about that choice to respond differently than the first instinct. The decision to snap the rubber band, or count to ten before responding is a conscious choice that affects the outcome of the situation... In a big way. 

In every interaction you partake in, you have the ability to choose how you will respond to the situation at hand. There are SO many human emotions, your options are truly endless. The question becomes, what does this response create in my life? See...

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Stress Relief with Essential Oils

I have always been a proponent of using a multitude of modalities to find true wellness. As you are a multifaceted human being, you need many different techniques to stay well. Just like your nutrition is not balanced without consuming a wide variety of foods, you cannot be well in your body, mind, and soul, without a wide variety of modalities. Essential oils are one of the modalities I turn to often. I love having them in my diffusers (I currently have four diffusers in my home), use them in skin care remedies (like sunburn relief), or for inflammation from an injury.

EO's are also the only "pretty smells" allowed in my home. I do not use anything in my home with the word "fragrance" listed on the ingredient label. Did you know "fragrance" is a blanket term for many different chemicals in products? "Fragrance" is not regulated by the FDA so it becomes a default place to hide chemicals you wouldn't otherwise want in a product you use daily (like BPA, a known contributor to...

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How is your screen time serving you?

There are a million studies out there talking about screen time. How much is too much? When should you turn your devices off? What about that blue light business? Is it different for adults and children? I’m not going to dive into any of that. Instead of hashing out how long, when, where, and who, let’s look into what you view. When I was young, my friends and I had a CD that we called the “Depression CD.” We’d listen to it when we were having an off day, after a break-up, or just whenever we were a little low. It was 13 country songs, from the country era of slow broken-hearted ballads. Nothing upbeat. Nothing empowering. Nothing that would help turn your mood around. Instead, it was about being engulfed by that sadness, by that slow, depressive movement. We used these songs when we were feeling low because they matched our vibration (learn more about your vibration here). The energy was the same. It felt comfortable to listen...

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Define Enough

If you're anything like me, you've set many different goals for yourself throughout your life. Some people set them every January, sometimes it is at your annual review at work, and sometimes, it is before starting the next academic year, shoot.... you may even set a goal for your day every morning. These things are all wonderful. It is important to have something to strive for and something to help keep you motivated. SMART goals are a great way to help you accomplish those things in life you want to be a part of your legacy. What happens when you reach that goal though? Do you set another one? Do you check it off your list, never to think of it again? Do you take the time to enjoy your success or immediately move on to something different, something more?

It depends on the goal you’re setting. Let’s use weight loss as an example. Many people set a weight loss goal at some time in their lives. Goal: Lose 20 pounds. So, you work at it. You decrease your caloric...

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How do you use your time?

So often I hear someone tell me, “I don’t have time for that.” Immediately, I know that time is not the problem. Poor time management and maybe a lack of priorities are the problem.

See, we all get the same 24 hours in a day. Most people have a 40-50-hour work week. Most people have homes to clean, groceries to buy, and laundry to do. Among a million other things they’d like to do every day. The issue lies in having to make the decision between doing thing A or thing B. I used to have the same struggle, that is until I got intentional about how I spend my time. Because we ONLY get 24 hours in the day. I can make more money. I can buy more food. I can watch that show later, but I cannot get this moment back. It sounds so cliché, but the truth is time is priceless. No one can make more, no one can stop it, and no one can refund it. When the day came that I finally realized just how precious it is, it became very easy to rearrange my priorities....

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What example are you setting?

The other day, my sweet bonus daughter repeated something that she certainly heard from someone else (apparently “everyone” says it’s true-moms you know how that goes), this was not a thought she had on her own. We know that kids are little sponges and they take in everything from everywhere around them. When they are really young, it's usually that one time you utter a four-letter word that they cling to and you spend the next few weeks praying they don’t repeat it in public. The thing is, that doesn’t end, they continue to latch onto and repeat everything they hear. We are all so influenced by the people around us and the conversations we are surrounded by, no matter your age, but sometimes it hits a little closer to home than others. 

 

In this particular instance, this 8-year-old child told me she was chubby and fat because she couldn’t see her toes when she looked down. Thankfully, she didn’t seem upset about it, just simply...

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