There I was, working with a client in a routine wellness session and I was hit with one of those phrases that make me stop in my tracks and write it down. Why? Because it is so simple, yet at that moment feels so profound. I mean I teach these concepts to my clients every day. We are always working on some variety of self-care, self-discovery, setting boundaries, and healing from our past. I have been doing this for over 8 years, and every now and then, a phrase will hit me like a ton of bricks. This session was one of those times.

See, when we allow our boundaries to be ignored, when we put ourselves last, when we take care of everyone and everything else without also taking care of ourselves, we end up unwell. For some, that looks like burnout. For some, that manifests physically. Sometimes, it's chronic fatigue, a short temper, or turning to food, alcohol, or other substances to get through the day. That will due in the short term, but eventually, it causes distress that must be...

Last week we were discussing how often we use the lack of time as an excuse for not doing those things we said we were going to do. You can read the whole post HERE but the main jist of it is that we make time for the things we call a priority as long as we are clear about what those priorities are. 

If you feel like you’ve mastered that and you’re still struggling to find the time to do participate in the things you’d like to do, whether that is a hobby or simply keeping up with laundry then we have to change our approach a little bit. If you’ve already mastered the skill of staying committed to your goals, honoring your priorities, and avoiding distractions and you still end the day with unfinished tasks it can certainly make you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel and not getting anywhere. 

My number one tip for this: Outsource! Look to your friends, family, and small businesses to help you accomplish all the things. You can hire a cleaning...

Let’s Celebrate! This is the 100th Purely You Blog! 

I remember in 6th grade we had to write one paragraph, at least 5 sentences, for homework every night. While I didn’t mind writing, that seemed exhausting. Here I am now choosing to write every week for the last 100 weeks! And every week for a few hundred more… Today we’ll take a beat to reflect on the most popular posts in the first 100. One dozen of them to be exact. So here we go…

Starting at the 12th most popular post

#12 Protect Your Space. This one is all about preventing people from sucking the life out of you and knowing how to protect your good mood even when you’re around a bunch of negative Nancy’s! “Listen, someone else's rain doesn't have to fall on your parade.”

#11 Hard Conversations. This chat is a reminder that we are the examples for our daughters and our daughters will have opportunities to make big changes in our world....

It is often said in the “coaching world” that we teach that which we need to learn. My goodness, how true that is. So often I find myself saying things in a session with a client and thinking, “Self, pay attention. You needed to hear that too!” The wisdom I have been blessed with over the last 7 years of this work has helped me to grow and evolve just as much as my clients do. As we’re all in the spirit of offering gratitude, I have to share my gratefulness for these lessons! I am a human and I face challenges just like you do. Sometimes I forget to ground, sometimes I don’t say “no” often enough, sometimes I don’t make self-care a priority and I end up burnt out… We are not meant to be perfect on this journey called life, we are simply meant to find peace in the process. Every time I find myself a little off, I remember the lessons I have learned from my clients. The ones that blow my mind and speak straight to my soul....

I remember early in my nursing career when I was eager to work. I wanted to learn everything I could. I wanted to be helpful. I wanted the overtime in my paycheck. I said yes, every time they called. I said yes every time there were open shifts. I said yes to the 3 am to 3 pm shifts. I said yes to the 8 shifts in a row. I said yes to the “I’ll go home and sleep for 4 hours and come back for 8 more. I said yes to everything. Until one day my parents were up visiting from their home 7 hours away. I got that same ol’ call to come to work in an hour and I said, “NO. My parents are visiting and I don’t want to miss a minute with them.” The response from my co-worker went something like this, “...but we haven’t even tried to call anyone else because we KNEW you’d say yes.” 

That did it for me. That was the moment I realized that I was being taken advantage of. My time with my family was not a priority for them, it did...

We talked all about protecting your space, and we’ve talked about releasing your burdens, but what about respect? I had a teacher in high school who was deeply respected. Although he was a great teacher, his respect came from the expectation he set in his classroom, not because our 16, 17, and 18-year-old selves noticed how great he was. You always referred to him as Mr. Dare, never just coach or by his last name. You were never late for his class. You didn’t break his rules. He expected excellence from you, no matter your reputation. And so he got it.  

You can do the same in your life. We often allow the disrespect that comes our way. Maybe not the first offense, but from the ones that continue to treat us poorly. Most behavior is learned behavior, right? So, if my child colors on the walls and there is no punishment, she doesn’t learn to take responsibility for her actions and will most likely color on the walls again. She...

Do you wake up in the morning and immediately want to crawl back into bed? Do you find that you have a short fuse, one that is much shorter than you’d like? Do you have a desire to “do more” or “do better” but don’t have the energy to do so? Yes? This might be burn-out. It is a normal part of so many people’s lives, and it shouldn’t be. Living in a state of burn out can lead to adrenal fatigue, and subsequently hormonal problems. Those could include thyroid dysfunction, estrogen and progesterone imbalances, endometriosis, etc.  

I remember early in my nursing career when I was so excited to be able to serve my patients and was even more excited for that professional level paycheck, that I worked all the overtime possible. If I got that call at 5 am where the hospital was looking for help, I said yes. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes that call came in at midnight, or 2 am, and I would still say yes. It usually meant I’d...